(Long Island, NY) In 2004, a conversation between former Suffolk lawmaker Wayne Prospect, former executive Stephen Baranello and an undercover detective posing as a contractor was recorded for posterity. Prospect wasn’t aware of the recording, so he let fly with acceptance of alleged bribes in exchange for giving Baranello favorable treatment with country contracts.
The whole problem with the situation—aside from the fact that if Prospect is guilty, he’s the worst sort of thieving lawmaker—is that bribery amounts aren’t standardized.
I’ve harped on this before. Bribes, like marijuana, are still illegal in most places across the U.S. with the possible exception of Chicago. There, it seems, the practice is all but decriminalized. Of course, the same goes for pot. Chicago is one of the most tolerant cities in America when it comes to the sticky green stuff.
If American lawmakers could only standardize the amount of bribe money they want for specific services, it would go a long way towards not only legalizing the act of bribery, but also creating a national regulatory board to insure that all who pay the bribes are given fair an equitable treatment.
Why force this centuries-old practice underground any longer? We need to be able to buy justice, reforms, and governmental attention for special interests; otherwise nothing will ever get DONE in this country. If a hard working, taxpaying citizen can’t pay his way out of a manslaughter charge or an embezzlement conviction, what has America got left?
Of course, there are flaws in the plan that will need to be ironed out over time. If and when a national regulatory commission on bribes is established, do we allow THEM to accept bribes? On the surface, this would seem to be a bad idea. Perhaps the board could be given a salary high enough to prevent bribes from being a temptation.
How do we determine a fair and equitable rate of payment to our lawmakers, dogcatchers, immigration officials and police officers? Should bribes be set depending on the amount of actual labor involved? Or should we fix prices based on the services rendered? Paying your way out of a revoked license for DUI should probably be at least as expensive as, say, the payoff to continue dumping toxic chemicals into Long Island Sound.
Yes, folks, we’re going to need to do some serious thinking about this if a legalized bribe board is ever going to come to pass. The first thing needed is to create a think-tank in order to study the issue. Next, lawmakers will need to be convinced to put the matter to a referendum. Finally, the board itself will need to be created, staffed and certified. The damn thing could take ten long years, but it will be worth it.
Of course, the whole shebang could be up and running in twelve months if we bribe the right people. Should we really let pot smokers off the hook while the dirty lawmakers get all the convictions? If pot people can get over, then bribe-takers should get their day in court.
