Have you had trouble focusing lately because you feel overwhelmed? A lot of times we tend to get overwhelmed in our day to day lives, which can cause us to lose focus, and be of track. This may be due to us taking on too much. This is the perfect time to take a moment for you, and re-evaluate your life priorities. The magic number is three. Three is the preferred number of priorities we should be focused on in life, but definitely no more than five. Take a moment for yourself and spend that time determining your most valuable priorities at this time; what deserves your attention and time? Start by narrowing down what’s in your life at this point, sometimes something may have to be cast aside temporarily, or even permanently. This is the hardest step for most people because they don’t want to feel that

1.They can’t do it all
2. They have to give something up or quit

Just keep in mind that you can not be productive and make any headway if you’re scattered in too many directions. It is not because you can’t do it, and it’s not because you’re incompetent. It is because realistically, we all need to give quality focus to our priorities in order for our life to productively progress.

Next step is to devote a set aside time for all of your priorities, and to not let anything else get in the way of that set aside time! When I was younger, there came a point when I was going to college and working full time all at once. I figured I could pull it off, and told myself that during my work breaks (totaling two hours because my job was not that demanding time wise), I could do my homework and be OK. Unfortunately, when I got to my break, all I could think about doing was taking a break! This arrangement didn’t work because my school work began to suffer, and soon, something had to be give. I had to re-evaluate my priorities. I switched my work hours to part time, and after a few months, I stopped working all together to focus on school. I had to decide which priority was tops. Despite missing the extra money in my pockets, my education was more important.

Last but not least, make a conscious effort to focus on that priority ONLY, during the time you set aside for it. Deter any distractions, and see how you start to feel more focused, alert, and back on track.

Like I always say, “Feeling overwhelmed? DOWNSIZE!!”

There is no real art to “breaking up.” It is just a “not so nice” part of the dating process; trying different people on to see just how they fit. But I always believed in a few rules that will make your “parting ways” as least difficult as possible:

Honesty is the best policy, but brutal honesty is not called for! When breaking up with someone, it is important to be honest with why you feel that you both would be best to part ways. Let’s say you are considering breaking up with someone because there are certain habits they have, that you are sure you can’t live with. Brutal honesty (“you’re too much of a weirdo for me”), is not going to cut it. But you can tell them that you feel there are important areas in a relationship that you and this person just don’t click on. If they ask for specifics, you can tell them, but remember to let them know that you respect those differences, but they are not for you.

Start with the good stuff FIRST!! It does help to cushion the blow when you start with those persons good qualities, before you hit them with the negative stuff. Tell them about all the things you admire about them, and then finish with, “But there are some more important things I need in a partner, and as great a person as you are, I don’t see those important things being fulfilled.

Do not use the “It’s not you…It’s me” routine. Can we face reality please! I don’t know why people use it when they know the other person ain’t gonna buy it!! It is not about them and it is not about you, it’s basically just the fact that you are not right for each other. Stay with a perspective that is true!

Do not offer to “still be friends,” if you don’t want to! Believe me when I say that using this tactic because you think it’ll make things OK is not the truth… it doesn’t work either. If you really want to “just be friends,” then that is OK, but sometimes you have to be careful with that too… it could give the other person a false sense of hope, and that is not good or fair. On the other hand, if you truly see this person as just being a really great friend, then by all means, you should tell them so.

Do not do it in a public place! Please try not to break up with someone while you are on a date with them, or in a public place. The best thing to do believe it or not, is to do it in a place comfortable for them, or at least a place that will cause minimal fuss, and the person you break up with can make a clean, easy exit. Being dumped sucks, but it helps if you are not in a crowd or in public, and if you can make a clean getaway… back to your own sanctuary (home). Also try to make sure the other person has there own means of transportation as well. There is nothing worse than getting dumped and being stuck where you are!

Stand your ground! It is natural that the person you are breaking up with may want to do anything to keep you; this is why they say the first break up “never sticks.” It is important to stick to your ground. Promises at this point are of no consequence, and if you were honest about your needs throughout your relationship with this person (I hope you were), then they most likely will never get met, regardless of how much they swear to you things will change. Stick to your guns, and make a clean break, the first time!

Last but not least, Breaking up with someone just stinks!! There is no way to make it easy, nice, or OK. But you can at least make it as civilized and considerate as possible. Expect for the other person to be upset, angry, disappointed, and/or even cry! Just be as supportive and as considerate as you can in the process. They may even lash out at you and get personal, call you names… but you should not let go of being civilized. That person has a right to be upset with you, it is an upsetting thing. But take heed to the points above, and remember that in the end, if your reasons for breaking up are just, then you are doing the right thing for the both of you.

I have been getting some inquiries lately about how people can start to set themselves for early retirement or a comfy retirement. I have to say however, that I was surprised to hear that some of these inquiries (including some “money making” entrepreneurs), were not doing the most important thing… the one thing you keep hearing when looking for investment advice… the one thing that you should be doing, but most likely aren’t…. PAYING YOURSELF FIRST!!

You have probably heard this many times, but I must write about it because it seems that nobody is doing it!! And I don’t mean 401K or Pension Plan… I mean taking money out of your cash earned and putting it into a Roth IRA, or Money Market, or Stocks, or some other investment vehicle!

Couples may say that they have two 401Ks between the two of them, but you have to understand that it is still not enough. We have to stop being afraid of money! This is the deep rooted reason some people don’t even pay what they owe and end up in debt. It’s easy to spend, but when that bill comes, you combat that fear by saying, if I ignore it, it will just go away, or… I will just pay for it the next time it comes around. The only way to conquer your fears is to face them. Force yourself to sit down and look at your budget… what you earn, what you spend, and what you must pay.

Once you figure this out, set aside some money to PAY YOURSELF FIRST! I applaud all of you who have some type of retirement plan in place, but keep in mind that by the time you retire, what you thought would be enough, really isn’t. Please, hear my plea and put this simple step to use in your plans for retirement. And when you ready to retire, and are pleasantly surprised at how much more you have saved than planned, you can thank me, or give it to me! I mean… hey if you don’t want to pay yourself, then you could always pay me (HA HA HA).

What’s It All Mean Anyway?

What is the meaning of life? Why are we here? After all, there must be a grand scheme to things… or is there? I have come to ponder on these rhetorical questions as the birth of my son draws near and I wanted to share with all of you my insight to one of life’s most prominent questions. Some will argue using a religious point of view; God has a plan for all of us. Some would use a rather scientific point of view; The “Big Bang” theory is what initiated the creation of life. Someone with a philosophical point of view might say that it doesn’t matter why we are here, but how we choose to live our lives that’s important. All of these explanations are worth mentioning, and hold a sort of truth for lots of us.

But I can comment on all of these theories in a way that suits me, and maybe some of you reading this. Looking at our question through a religious point of view, I think that Gods plan for us is for us to live at our greatest potential and goodness as human beings. Scientifically speaking, evolution is the process in which we grow, expand, and constantly improve upon ourselves, as life finds a way to scientifically advance itself. And it also falls in line with the philosophical take. We are here to experience the world, learn from it, and grow with it.

In conclusion however, I would like to add one more thing. I also think that the meaning of life is to simply live according to what’s most meaningful to you. Whatever is most meaningful to you, being the greatest parent, teacher, nurse, volunteer, employee or employer, wife, husband, brother, sister, friend, or human being, do it. I believe if we live according to what’s most meaningful to us, then God will let us into his kingdom of heaven, or the creation of life will appreciate our ability to grow, evolve, and adapt, and philosophically speaking, we will positively contribute to the balance of the universe.

Are you finally ready to put a good foot forward and try to actually succeed at what you have been putting off for so long? Part of the reason we fail to accomplish the things we set out to do is because we don’t set ourselves up for success. We don’t prepare our environment, body, or mind for the activities we need to do in order to see success. A simple thing like setting up your environment, mind, and body, can make all the difference in the world, and give you the edge, so you can get the results you’re looking for:

Environment: What ever you are working to succeed at, your environment plays and important role in assisting you in determining optimal productivity. If you took up meditation as one of your methods of lowering your blood pressure, what kind of environment would be required to set up a successful meditation session? Perhaps an area of the home set aside for relaxation, with no interruptions, ample silence, soothing wall colors, soothing music, and calming images displayed throughout your area… and a water fountain to boot!

Mind: The mind must be set up for success, since it is your most important ally in your quest for success. Using the example of starting meditation to alleviate high blood pressure, what kind of mind set would be optimal for carrying out a successful meditation session? Perhaps taking 10 minutes before you start meditating, to empty your mind of any thoughts, to-do lists, worries, and other distraction type thinking can set you up for the most productive meditation you have ever experienced.

Body: The body can affect your productivity dramatically. You can’t have a productive meditation session if you are sick, tired, in pain, or are experiencing any other bodily discomfort. It will dominate your mind set and ultimately take away from the effectiveness of your meditation.

The final reason for setting yourself up for success is that you want to continue to succeed. Not setting yourself for success will lead to frustration, disappointing results, or confusion with the process. This leads to ultimately doubting your abilities, your goals, and whether your not you will succeed. So in essence, not setting yourself up to succeed, is like setting yourself up to fail. So keep these things in mind while you reach for success, and if you ever need a helping hand, or any other suggestions to help you on your path to greatness, feel free to email me. And remember to … SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS!!

Music soothes the savage beast; Music is the bridge to your soul; Music has proven to improve a child’s ability to learn. Yes, we all have heard these explanations and facts about the power of music, so I wanted to talk to you about adding more music to your life. Music indeed does have incredible and amazing healing powers.

•It can help you to relax, on days when you seriously need to unwind, clear your head, or get some new thoughts!

• It can get you energized when you need an extra boost, or pure motivation to get through the next event, day, or week!

• It can help you to reminisce and rejoice your greatest moments and achievements.

• It can help someone to grieve and release built up emotion, when they find it difficult to do so.

• It can help you get to sleep… or wake up in time!

• It can help you to realize how important family and friends are.

• It can help you mark the most memorable moments in your life, like your wedding day, or first dance, or first love.

• It can remind you of what is truly important in your life.

Keep some of these things in mind as you move through your day to day, and see if adding music can help you to enhance the moments and events in your life. Think about using a compilation of your favorite songs to wake up to, or drive to work to. Play a memorable song for a loved one, and reminisce about “the days.” Make music a part of your life, and see how much more enjoyable your life can become. “The Power of Music can be a positive attribute on the road of life…” (That one is mine!).

It’s human nature to focus on the negative as opposed to the positive. When we are upset, unhappy, and sad, we love to bask and mull over our depressive state, but how come we can’t do that when something good happens! I bet you can remember the last thing that went wrong for you faster than you can remember the last thing that went right for you. How long we decide to stay in an emotional state determines which emotional state we will favor. Therefore, if you are one of those people who are always disappointed, always down about what you don’t have or didn’t get, or always feel you are being treated unfairly, here is what you do. From now on, every day, once a day… you are going to spend a full 5 minutes thinking about anything (and I mean anything) that goes right throughout your day. Did you get out of work a little early? Bask your thoughts in the happiness of your freedom! Your son or daughter get an “A” on a test today? Take 5 minutes and appreciate your child’s persistence and ability to achieve! Taking a few moments to “live in that happy moment,” serves a few purposes.

It gets you in the habit of “living your thoughts” in the more positive events of your life.

It gets you to look at a possible method you used to making that something go right; therefore, you may be able to use that method again and again.

The more you mull over the happy and positive things, the more these moments and thoughts will outweigh the negative ones.

So bottom line… Proud of yourself for finally taking the time to get the brakes on your car done? Enjoy that moment for a few moments and celebrate your ability to “get things done!” It may sound trivial, but you will be glad that you did… UH, OHHH, your gonna be a generally happier person because of this? What a concept!!

What a wonderful time of year… the roses will be in bloom, weather is warming up; it is as if the world is being reborn. With this feeling of “newness” affecting everyone’s moods, I thought it be necessary to talk a little about getting rid of the old, to make way for the new. A few pointers to starting this spring off refreshed and renewed is definitely in order, so let’s get to it with “The Spring Cleaning System”:

•If you want to clear things out, but are having sentimental issues getting rid of things, consider how long it has been since you paid attention to those particular things. You will split these things into 3 piles; The “Keepin’ It” pile, the “Questionable” pile, and the “Trash It” pile.

• Is it something you only use once or twice a year? Is it of high sentimental value or a family air loom? If so, you might lean towards keeping it. Remember that keeping it means you are going to KEEP IT! If you are not 100% sure, put it in the “Questionable” pile.

• Is it something you haven’t thought about or used in 1½ to 2 years? Does it come in handy in a very rare instance? Then you might want to put it into the “Questionable” pile. Keep in mind that you will only be able to keep ½ of what is in the “Questionable” pile. The other ½ must go!!

•Is it something, you totally forgot you had? Is it something that has tagged along all of this time, yet you never had a use for it? You guessed it… “Trash” pile. This pile is a pile you will get rid of indefinitely!

That’s it! Follow this simple and easy formula and watch the clutter melt away until you have a more open, spacious, and cleansed environment. And for those of you who are too sentimental to get rid of anything… try enlisting a friend who you will designate to actually throw everything away without you “seeing it” being done. Also know that the object is to clean and de-clutter! You just have to learn to let go of some things… it unfortunately is one of the laws of life. Happy Cleansing!!

Here is my definition of Reality…

REALITY: Our current perception and analysis of that perception

What are we talking about reality for? Well, whenever we are presented with a task, decision, challenge, or any situation, we tend to base how we will proceed on our perception of the situation. We analyze that perception and base our reaction to it. For example; let’s say that you are driving and some maniac decides to cut you off and speed like a demon out of hell! You are probably telling yourself, (from your perceptions or reality), that he or she is an inconsiderate *&^%$ (that’s putting it lightly!) But what if that “crazy driver” just found out that someone close to them was just admitted into the hospital because of a fatal car accident? Does that change your perception (your perceived reality)? It sure does.

Well this same “perceived reality” also can effect any and all important decisions in your life. For example, let’s say you see the perfect job in the paper; “looking for Financial Executive Officer Assistant, must have Masters in related field.” Perhaps you are working on your Masters and don’t quite have it yet, and even though everything else about the job is perfect for you, you turn away from it without giving it a second glance. But what if the reality of it was that the employer actually runs a very small business, and is really just looking for someone who could do the job? The employer probably just put that in there because someone told them it would bring more qualified applicants, but all the while the employer really doesn’t care. You see what I am getting at? Sometimes when we really want something, we have to actively practice challenging our reality (our perceptions of reality). Challenging your reality requires you to challenge your beliefs and your (perceived) limitations. Practice this from now on when you set out to accomplish something; challenge your reality. You will be amazed at how much more opportunity shows up, and just how much more real… your dreams are to achieve!

Ahh… the single scene. A love-hate predicament. Love the freedom and the right to pick and choose, although choosing is also a tricky process, like opening up a Crackerjack box; never know what you’re going to find! But some of us have been doing this long enough, and now want to go to the other side. So for those of us looking to embark on serious relationships with serious people… looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right… These tips should start you off in the right direction.

•First thing you might consider is examining your previous relationships, and considering what you liked, and didn’t like. Make a list of what you want and don’t want your potential partner to be. Think about the things you liked in any of your previous significant others, and what you feel you could do without. Perhaps you are looking for someone who is caring and sensitive, but you appreciate your independence, so your potential partner shouldn’t be too clingy. Maybe you want someone “outdoorsy”, or perhaps a “home body” will suite you just fine. Consider what you want and don’t want your relationship to be… and your partner to be for that matter.

•From this list you have created, put things in a category of importance, “1” being the most necessary, and “3” being the least necessary. In other words, maybe your potential partner doesn’t have to be an avid chess player (a “3”), but maybe they have to be an animal lover. Prioritize what you list, and it will make it easier for you to narrow in on what you’re looking for, and how to choose.

•Now that you have your list, and it is prioritized, you have a solid idea of what you’re looking for. Look this list over, make sure it is right, and try to have the list ingrained in your mind. This way, while you’re out with a potential someone, you can subconsciously compare them to your list. Now it may take a couple of dates to determine how they measure up to the list, so don’t be in a rush. Although it may take just one date to see an absolute no-no (disaster dates!)

Last but not least… be who you are! There is nothing worse than falsely representing yourself! Be yourself, relax, and enjoy your life. Whether your single or in a relationship, enjoy your life! If you would like more information on finding Mr. or Mrs. Right, feel free to contact me with any questions. Good luck…. Now get out there!!