(Long Island, N.Y.) When I was a teen, I really thought I knew it all. As I got older and wiser–I knew I should have listened to the adults in my life. The teen years can be difficult for families. All too often, young adults are seen and not heard. But if you’re a parent, here’s one 18 year-old you MUST sit now and listen to.

Ryan McElhaney is a typical busy 18-year-old who recently graduated from Lincoln Park High School in Chicago where he was an International Baccalaureate Student. He was also a member of Junior State of America, America’s oldest and only student run political organization, National Honor Society, and served as president of the Ecology Club. Ryan also volunteered as a tutor helping fellow students with their physics school work.

While these credits are quite impressive, here’s why you should listen up: He is a National Runaway Switchboard (NRS) front-line team member, a volunteer position he has held for more than a year. NRS serves as the federally-designated national communication system for homeless and runaway youth.

As an NRS front-line team member, Ryan has handled nearly 200 crisis calls with runaway and at-risk youth and their families, providing solution-focused crisis intervention, information and referral, message relay and other related services. Ryan volunteers at NRS because of “the constant feeling that I am giving back to a community that is so often forgotten.”

I asked Ryan McElhaney to share his unique perspective on teen issues.

Long Island Exchange: In your experience, what are three of the biggest problems teens are facing today?
McElhaney: 1. Communication problems both with parents and peer. 2. Lack of understanding on the part of the older community 3. Inability to cope with difficult situations

Long Island Exchange: What are some things parents can do to help?
McElhaney: Parents need to talk to their teens as much as they can. So often teens feel misunderstood and don’t know whom to talk to. This is when teens call NRS (1-800-RUNAWAY). It would help if parents can express to their child that they may not understand them, but that they are willing to listen and willing to try to understand. If a parent is having trouble communicating with their child and they are looking for help, they can always call 1-800-RUNAWAY.

We’re here not just for runaway youth. We are also here for all youth in crisis, parents, relatives, teachers, law enforcement officials, and anyone who cares about youth. NRS also offers an online Parent Chat program for adults to discuss and share solutions to challenges they may be facing with their child. Parent Chat is a twice a week, hour-long session hosted and monitored by an NRS Crisis Intervention Specialist who has expertise on the particular topic being discussed. Parents interested in participating in a chat can visit www.1800runaway.org and click on the Parents & Adults tab to learn more. It’s a great resource.

Long Island Exchange: Why are teens running away?
McElhaney: Teens are being put into situations in which they don’t know how to cope. Without the ability to cope with the situation they do the next best thing and leave the situation – run away. Sometimes this choice is understandable and is best for the teenager while other times it is not. It is important to realize that teens who run away are typically not bad kids, they are good kids running from a bad situation.

According to 102,144 calls handled by front-line team members of staff and volunteers in the NRS Call Center last year, 48 percent of youth ran from home because of family dynamics such as divorce, remarriage and problems with siblings; and abuse such as substance, physical and sexual.

Long Island Exchange: What are some things you know about teens that parents simply do not?
McElhaney: Teens are more willing to talk, to open up, and to explain their anxiety, fears and feelings more than parents think they are. As long as parents don’t approach teens in an aggressive way, there’s a better chance of teens opening up. And even if a teen isn’t willing to talk, if they know that their parents are willing to, it can make a world of difference.

Long Island Exchange: What are some big mistakes parents are making these days?
McElhaney: This is hard to say because each situation is different, but in general I think parents are giving up to easily. I cannot count the number of times I have heard parents ask for the phone of a boot camp, or complain about how distant their child is being, only to later reveal that they barely tried to talk to him or her. Parents are often looking for a quick solution to a difficult problem. That isn’t always possible. Parents need to try harder to both relate to their children and not be easily downhearted.

Long Island Exchange: Any other words of wisdom you can give to parents of teens?
McElhaney: Talk and Listen. You may not always be able to relate. You may not always be able to say the right thing. But be there and try to understand and help. Don’t be overbearing but be parental. Just talk to your children and more importantly listen.

Our mission at NRS is to keep America’s runaway and at-risk youth safe and off the streets. We’re here 24 hours a day, seven days a week. I encourage parents to go to www.1800runaway.org, or to call 1-800-RUNAWAY if they’re looking for help.

(Long Island, N.Y.) Right after I gave birth to my second child, I had a ton of things to worry about. My computer was the farthest from my mind. Until one day–it crashed and I lost everything. Everything–my photos, e-mails, business documents. (The horror!) Luckily, I had all those thing backed up and although I had to start from scratch, all was not lost.

That’s because when I had problems with my CD ROM months earlier (while we were living in Brooklyn), and the savvy computer whiz who came to save the day, warned me to back up all my files. Thanks to Steven Lastoe of Quick Byte http://www.quickbyte.net I didn’t shed a tear over lost files. Here’s his advice on simple things you can do today to keep your computer life running smooth.

Long Island Exchange: Most people don’t take steps to protect their computer from a virus–until after a big problem. Personally, I just assumed the antivirus program that came already installed in my computer was adequate protection. Is that true?

Lastoe: It is not true, but it is a common mistake that novice users make. If an antivirus program does come with a new computer, often it has to be activated, and from then on it needs to be kept current. Antivirus programs need up to date virus definitions in order to be most effective. In addition adequate firewall protection, and software updates round out the big 3 of computer security.

Long Island Exchange: Thanks to your advice, I have saved all my precious pictures and important documents on CD’s– in case of a computer meltdown. Yet when I ask families (who have years of memories stored in their computer) if they have backed them up—the answer is often: “No, why should I?”. Can you back me up… and tell them why they should?

Lastoe: It’s not really a question of if you will one day lose important data, it’s a question of when. Hard drives fail and sometimes even the building they are in fails, I’ve had more than one client come to me after a pipe burst and the resulting “flood water” got to their computer.

Even if you avoid mechanical problems, there are still viruses and human error to contend with. After my first year in business, I accidentally deleted almost every file I had created related to the business.

Long Island Exchange: You offer a wealth of information on your website about backing up your computer. What’s the single most important thing consumers or small business owners should know about backing up their files?

Lastoe: There is no single thing I can point to, but the owner of the business, or the tech savviest person in the family should have a backup plan and execute it.

Long Island Exchange: Let’s talk spyware for a moment. What is it, essentially and what do you recommend your clients to do to avoid potential problems from spyware?

Lastoe: I’m going to go with the term malware instead, as it is a little more general. Malware is any software that resides on your computer, usually somewhat surreptitiously, if not illegally, and takes advantage of that situation. It could do something as blatant as stealing your data, or as innocuous as the occasional pop-up. There are many different types of malware, some of which are spyware.

My current recommendations for avoiding spyware are to use Norton Antivirus 2006, which has an excellent AntiSpyware component, and the free Microsoft Windows Defender program. That and a little common sense should keep you safe.

Long Island Exchange: You were recently featured on The NBC Nightly News With Brian Williams discussing the topic of wireless security. I found it alarming that people can use your wireless Internet connection without your knowledge. Is it something I should be worried about?

Lastoe: It depends on who you are. If you practice good computer security, then there really isn’t too much to worry about as far as your computer goes. However, with most people I know, that’s a sizeable if. At the same time, if you have an open wireless network, people can use your connection for anything, and they could slow the connection down by overusing it. Professionally, I secure all the wireless networks I setup, but my own is wide open.

Long Island Exchange: What steps can you take to avoid this?

Lastoe: Simply put, if you don’t want people to use your wireless network, secure it using some sort of encryption, a feature built into wireless access points. For most wireless networks, WPA-PSK encryption is a good choice.

Long Island Exchange: You started Quick Byte in 1997. In your years of rescuing people from computer problems, (me included) what would you say is the biggest mistake people make –besides not backing up important files?

Lastoe: It’s tempting to say security issues, but I’m going to go with not reading what’s on the screen or newspaper in front of them. People could save themselves a lot of time and trouble if they would just read what’s on the bloody screen.

(Long Island, N.Y.) We’re smack in the middle of summer, and it’s pretty easy to slack in the safety department. Summer is a time to relax and chill out, so here’s some expert tips to keep safe in the season of fun.

Water Safety – Parents are usually on guard around water activities–but sometimes get swept away the carefree atmosphere—so here’s an important reminder to keep you on high alert. In 2005, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported drowning as the second-leading cause of injury related death for children ages 1-14. In an effort to.

To help keep safety first, The YMCA offers this helpful tip list:

• Children must have adult supervision at all times.
• No one, not even adults, should ever swim alone.
• Be prepared by learning lifesaving, First Aid and CPR techniques.
• Always have a stocked First Aid kit, cordless phone, emergency numbers and sunscreen close at hand.
• Backyard pools should have posted rules, ring buoys and security fences with self-closing gates and child-proof locks.
• If you have an above-ground pool, secure and lock the steps or remove them completely when not in use.
• Follow the posted rules in any water environment.
• Before diving, know the depth, incline and any underwater obstructions.
• Never dive in an above-ground pool.
• Children should use inflatable toys only under strict adult supervision and never as a safety device.
• Avoid inflatable armbands or “swimmies” – they can be dangerous, while giving a false sense of confidence.
• When boating, always wear a life-jacket in or around the water.
• And everyone should learn swimming and basic water safety skills

Picnic-Perfect! Summer picnics are perfect time to flex your culinary muscles…but before you throw another party, you might want to to pay attention to this guy: Chef David Pantone, dean of education for Florida Culinary Institute, has thrown picnics for as many as 500 people, and he shares his 10 tips for making your next outdoor meal perfect in every way.

1. Keep it cool – or hot! Keep all foods below 40* or above 140* to slow the growth of bacteria. Hot items should go from grill to plates with minimum time in between. For cold items, chemical ice packs or plain old ice can help keep things cool.
2. Freeze bottled water, or juice packs, and use them as ice packs to keep the rest of the food in the cooler cold.
3. Try one of the new portable, refrigerated coolers. You plug it into the power outlet in your car and it keeps everything cool while you are traveling.
4. Acid rocks! Foods high in acid keep best in warm weather. Try Citrus Salad, Lemony Shrimp Cocktail and Mango Chicken Salad below.
5. No need to hold the mayo: But remember that store bought mayonnaise keeps better than homemade. (But who really makes homemade mayo anyway?)
6. Use fresh herbs whenever possible. They add a freshness to salads and marinades that you can’t get from dried herbs. Cilantro especially says summer.
7. Create contrast: The most appealing warm-weather dishes contain contrasting flavors. One of my favorites is Fire Shrimp and Cantaloupe. The spicy shrimp is complemented by the cool, sweet melon.
8. Packing heat? Wear gloves. The popularity and availability of hot peppers has increased dramatically over the past few years. When working with hot peppers, make sure you wear gloves and avoid touching your eyes. The pepper juice can cause burning and irritation.
9. Stay cool as…an avocado? Avocados are one of summer’s best picnic foods, but they have that tendency to turn an unsightly brown. Here’s a hint: cover dishes containing avocados by placing plastic wrap directly on the food. This will help prevent the oxidation that causes avocados to darken.
10. Zip-lock trick: Marinate food for grilling in a zip-lock bag to make clean-up a snap. As an easy, tasty marinade use your favorite oil and vinegar based salad dressing. Simply place your steak, chicken, or seafood into a zip-lock bag and add the dressing. Let this marinate and then grill it to perfection. Cleanup is a matter of throwing the bag away — what could be easier?

While You’re away… Thieves don’t take vacations! In fact, they’re just waiting for you to hit the road. So what’s the best way to secure your home while on vacation?

The National Burglar & Fire Alarm Association (NBFAA) has created a simple 4-point checklist.

• Discourage the thief: Since burglars prefer to break in to houses that look unoccupied, lower your home’s appeal by making it look like you’re there. Use timers on lights, radios and televisions. Ask neighbors to put trash cans out on trash day. Leave drapes and shades open. Leave a car parked in the driveway, or ask a neighbor to park there. Do not let your mail or newspapers pile up; arrange for mail and newspaper delivery to stop, or ask a friend to help. Mow your lawn before you leave.

• Prevent easy access: Make your home a more difficult target by increasing the time it takes a burglar to enter. Lock all doors and windows, and secure the garage door. Install deadbolt locks for added security. Trim your trees and hedges; this gives burglars fewer hiding places. Replace burned-out yard lights, and consider upgrading with built-in motion detectors.

• Manage the risk: Make sure your neighbors know you are going on vacation; ask them to watch your house. Tell them how long you will be gone and the names or descriptions of anyone that may need access to your house. Leave a house key and a number where you can be reached, with a trusted individual. For extended vacations, consider a house sitter. Notify police when you will be away.

• Detect an intruder: NBFAA recommends investing in a home security system. In an industry survey of 1,000 public safety officials, 85 percent of police chiefs said security systems decrease the likelihood a home will be burglarized, and almost 90 percent felt security systems increase their chances of apprehending burglars. Because crime statistics show that most security systems are turned off in those homes that are burglarized, NBFAA reminds consumers to activate their systems, especially when on vacation. Finally, make sure that anyone with access to the home knows how to properly operate the system.

(Long Island, N.Y.) Lately, I’ve been so tense–lack of time to exercise has lead to major lack of energy and focus. In other words… I’m dragging. So instead of walking around the house looking like a lost LURCH, I figured it was time to restore my flexibility and focus–and take a yoga class. Easy enough. I found a yoga studio nearby and signed myself up for some “downward dog”. (I knew that term from the yoga video I bought and only used a few times.)

Yoga videos are great for convenience, but I needed some solid instruction. Every time I attempted to do a video, it felt all wrong. Although taking a class was what I really needed, the notion of doing yoga in a room full of people seemed a bit scary, due to my lack of experience.

For beginners who aren’t familiar with the various terms and styles of yoga–showing up to that first class can be intimidating. Carol, a 50 year-old mother of three, says she was always interested in trying yoga, but felt it was way out of her league. She admits to feeling nervous about going to a class for the first time and thinks she would look silly. “It’s so popular,” says Carol. “Even though I want to try it, I just don’t think I’d understand it, or know what to do when I’m there. Maybe I’m too old to start”

I recently asked Laura Hartman, Director of Transform Yoga, Hampton Beach, NY, to help take the mystery out of yoga. She has taught nationally and internationally for 29 years. She has worked in all aspects of yoga practice–with all kinds of people. She graciously discussed newbie issues, tips to “get over” intimidation, even yoga etiquette.

Long Island Exchange: What’s your advice for those who want to try yoga, but are too intimidated to get started?
Hartman: Try to find a gentle/beginner or Absolute beginner class, or perhaps a few private sessions with a qualified instructor. Careful doing videos at home, due to lack of supervision initially.

Long Island Exchange: I have a stack of yoga videos in my closet. I start them, and then begin to feel lost. Why is it so important to take a class and learn with a qualified instructor?
Hartman: It is important to take class with a qualified instructor for safety reasons, as well as to be assured of proper technique to achieve the most benefit from the practice.

Long Island Exchange: I used to think I couldn’t get a “workout” from yoga. Is that a common misconception?
Hartman: Yes, that is a common misconception. Yoga can be as strenuous or gentle as you need it to be. You can get a tremendous workout from the right practice if that is what you want.

Long Island Exchange: How do you define yoga?
Hartman: Yoga is a journey into the inner realms of our being. It integrates all aspects of our lives together under one beautiful state of mind and approach to life. It is designed to help us attain a spiritual awakening through the balancing of our bodies, minds, and emotions

Long Island Exchange: There are various types of yoga … how do you pick the style that’s right for you?
Hartman: You pick the style that’s right for you by first deciding what you want from the yoga, your fitness level, your emotional state, your time frame, injuries, etc. It is a very personal decision for each of us.

Long Island Exchange: Is there such a thing as yoga etiquette? Any tips you can share to make that first class go smooth?
Hartman: Yes! There is totally etiquette. For instance – maintain a sense of quiet whilst in the room, try not to wear strong smelling perfumes, lotions, etc, try to leave the room the way you found it, be considerate of the others around you, come to class clean. Then there is the no cell phone or beeper inside the studio, and no eating for one to two hours prior to practicing. Oh, yes, most studios ask that you leave your shoes at the door.

Long Island Exchange: Any other words of wisdom you can offer those interested in giving yoga a try?
Hartman: Generally, beginners are afraid of the unknown! As we all are…I hear from people that they need to lose weight or get more flexible before they can come into a yoga class. Actually, those two things can be achieved in a yoga class, and it always makes me smile. Important to let people know that yoga provides us with the capacity to drop our judgments and just be ourselves.

Within the context of yoga we begin to discover how OK we actually are just as we are, and that any benefit on top of that is great! We begin to feel the direct benefits of the yoga practice almost immediately, and the most important thing for beginners is to find a class at their level and not to try a class that is too hard right off the bat, or to decide how they feel about yoga after only one or two classes – they should be open and give it several classes before they form an opinion. They may also need to try several different teachers before they find “their” teacher. It is a very personal discovery, and lots of fun.

Other things like try not to eat for an hour or two before your class, wear really easy clothing to move in – nonrestrictive waistlines and open necks, for example. Go on an adventure and have fun!

 

To Lancaster County We Go!

(Long Island, N.Y.) I was looking for a fun place to take the kids for a couple of days—that didn’t involve plane tickets. Something cool and different and reachable by car. So I did what most parents do these days, I hit the net. I surfed around a while for ideas and inspiration, but came up empty.

My son was playing with his ‘Thomas’ trains on the floor making such a racket, I couldn’t even think clearly. He’s obsessed with those trains—it’s a sickness, really. Anyone with young children might know the symptoms: Rattling off the names and numbers of ‘Thomas’ and his many ‘Friends’, humming that silly rail road song, a sudden invasion of wooden tracks. I tripped over one of those trains running for the phone. This gave me a brilliant idea. Some moms mentioned that kids can actually ride on a life size ‘Thomas’. The event is called A DAY OUT WITH THOMAS and it travels around the country. Maybe this little blue train that I almost broke my foot on, is a really useful engine after all. I hobbled back to the computer.

A click here and a click there—and bingo—‘Thomas’ will be the Strasburg Rail Road. Perfect. Strasburg is located in Lancaster County, also known as Pennsylvania Dutch Country, famous for its landscape and rolling farmlands. I learned there was plenty to do: there’s the Amish, shopping, amusement parks, museums, theaters. Sure sounded fun. Not too far, definitely something different. Its official… to Lancaster County we go!

Take This Trip Tip: Leave at night.

The night of our trip to PA, we loaded the kids in the car around 8PM and headed off into the sunset (via the Long Island Expressway). Due to my husband’s superb navigational skills (AKA: me reading from a printout of Driving Directions), we managed to make it there in just about three hours. Leaving at night was a great idea. The kids snoozed in their car seats the entire way. Traffic was a breeze–there were hardly any cars on the road. Somewhere on the NJ Turnpike, I relinquished my Driving Directions duties and joined the kids in dream land. When I finally woke up I couldn’t believe my eyes. I thought I had died and woke up in “outlet heaven”. Who knew the Amish countryside had tons of brand name outlets. (Look, it’s a gigantic Pottery Barn outlet. I could do some serious damage here!)

We were minutes away from our destination, driving on the main highway through the hub-bub of hotel and restaurant chains. Flashing signs, buffet advertisements. It was not exactly how I envisioned Lancaster’s Amish country—but then we made a turn off the busy highway and drove down a few minutes off the beaten path, towards our hotel. There it was, The Netherlands Inn & Spa. As we headed down the quiet road, the Inn was breathtaking. It was all aglow with lights. I stepped out of the car and took a deep breath. The air had a sweet and calming scent. The grounds were surrounded by farms and all looked so serene, it was dark, but I knew I was going to love our lodgings. I couldn’t wait until daylight to soak up the sights.

Take This Trip Tip: Stay at the Netherlands Inn & Spa

The Netherlands s Inn & Spa is simply,an excellent choice if you plan to visit Strasburg. The Inn has 104 guest rooms, ranging from traditional to luxury. Our room was traditional. The décor was simple, yet spacious and welcoming. The beds were really comfortable. By 12 AM, we all fell back asleep, excited to begin the next day.

7AM the kids were up and so excited to get dressed.(Since when?) Our room included a full country breakfast for two (kids were free) located in the Inn’s Grand Ballroom. Breakfast buffet was a big hit— fresh squeezed orange juice, scrambled eggs, French toast, yogurt, potatoes, bacon–the works. Then we headed off to have a look at the grounds–18 landscaped acres. The scene was so peaceful. There were farms and hills in the distance. My kids waved to the horses in the nearby field and ran freely on the green grass. We found a great Amish-style play set and while the kids climbed up and down the slide, we relaxed on a bench and began to plan our day.

Our next stop was Dutch Wonderland. An amusement park for kids just minutes away that actually looks like a giant castle from the outside. The park didn’t open until 10 AM, so we let the kids run around the grounds, exploring and skipping up and down the hills.

Take This Trip Tip: If you’re going to Dutch Wonderland—go early.

We arrived just as the park was opening and I was amazed how quickly and easily we hopped from ride to ride. There were no lines. We chose a ride, dashed to it—and enjoyed. As the day progressed the lines started to build up, but by then we had already zipped through the park in record time. Dutch Wonderland is sparkling clean and it really does cater to parents and children. The bathrooms have these cute little toilets for the kids—even little sinks to wash their hands.

Even the food choices make it easy for parents…it’s good. My three year old son declared his hot-dog was the best he’s ever had. So, my husband laughed (ah, kids will be kids), took a bite and said, “Hey, he’s not kidding, this is really good hot-dog!” It’s really no wonder Dutch Wonderland was rated one of the top five children’s parks in the world. If you have kids, it’s well worth the trip.

Take This Trip Tip: Invite the Grandparents!

Really, what could be better for the kids than a day at an amusement park? Grandma. Yep, we headed back to Netherlands Inn to meet up with grandma, who we (brilliantly) invited to come spend time with us in Strasburg. The grandparents checked in and I checked out (so to speak). While everyone frolicked in the pool, I merrily skipped off to Spa Orange (a full-service day spa located on the premises), I slipped on a fluffy white robe and indulged in a treatment or two. Actually, it was three. A detailed manicure & pedicure and much needed 50 minute massage.

Yes! One minute I’m peeling the skin off a monster-sized hot dog at Dutch Wonderland, and the next, I’m kicking back in a country cool spa, sipping raspberry iced-tea, feeling like the Queen of Sheba. I could have stayed there for hours, but I had to get back, my husband and I had dinner reservations (for two) at Inn’s BISTRO. We sipped some wine, ate a three-course meal, walked around in the romantic, peaceful setting—the night was ours. Did I mention this was supposed to be a vacation for the kids? I’ll say it again: Invite the grandparents!

Take This Trip Tip: For Your ‘Day Out With Thomas’, Wear Sensible Shoes.

I had no idea what a big event this was. And how crowded. Here’s another tip: make sure you buy tickets well in advance. The lines are crazy. At the Strasburg Rail Road, this event is huge. When we heard that parking would be a nightmare, we were so relieved to learn that the Netherlands Inn & Spa provided shuttle buses going back and forth to the rail road all day. Whew! We thought it would be best not to bring the stroller. Bad move. The shuttle bus left room for strollers in the front seats and when our young kids tired from walking around all day, we had to carry them, along with ten bags full of goodies and treats.

When ‘Thomas’ is in town, the event attracts nearly 50,000 people—but for kids who love that little tank engine, I assure you, they won’t be disappointed. This year, the life size ‘Thomas’ (a real train) blinks his eyes and what’s really great is you hop aboard for a 25 minute train ride through the Amish countryside. My kids were thrilled beyond words. The lines were long, the day was hot, but would I do it again? Yep. We plan to return in December when the event returns. Here are the other cool things that happen at the Strasburg Rail Road during ‘A Day Out With Thomas’. The kids can:

• Get pictures taken on Percy- a life size blow up version of Thomas’s friend.
• Learn about farm animals – with a chick hatching display – a real tractor – and other farm-related fun.
• Ride the Cranky Cars – which are just the right size for young children.
• Go on the pump cars (for the whole family)
• Take a ride on a caboose.
• Ride on a pint sized steam locomotive – the Cagney.
• Find their way through a child sized hay maze.
• Get faux tattoos of Thomas and Friends.
• Shop through an infinite number of Thomas Merchandise.

Take This Trip Tip: Do It Again In December!

We all had such a great time in Strasburg, PA—we are now making plan to return in December. Strasburg is the home of The National Christmas Center, and there are plenty of events and festivals to celebrate the Christmas season. We plan to ride Santa’s Paradise Express. December 9, 10, 14, 15, 16, and 17th, the Strasburg Rail Road transforms into a winter wonderland and the family can take a train ride with Santa! There are also carolers, musicians, storytellers and much more.

And best of all: there’s plenty of shopping. While I do plan to visit one of the many unique shops that feature hand-crafted goods and heirloom quality antiques—I’d really like some time to stroll on over to that “outlet heaven” I spied as we entered Strasburg. Or perhaps maybe even a Signature Facial or a dip in the Hydrotherapy Tub at Spa Orange. Oh Grandma…say, are you free in December?

(Long Island, N.Y.) So you think you can scrapbook? Don’t worry, neither can I. But I’d really love to start. So I asked scrap-booking extraordinaire, Angie Pedersen, to help.

She’s the author of The Book of Me: A Guide to Scrapbooking about Yourself, Growing Up Me: A Guide to Scrapbooking Your Child’s Stories, and The Book of US: A Guide to Scrapbooking about Relationships. If anyone can make scrap-booking simple…it’s her!

Long Island Exchange: I’ve been keeping a journal since junior high and I always thought scrapbooking would be a really fun way to capture my memories as a mom. But I just can’t find the time. What’s your advice?

Pedersen: Not enough time is one of the most common complaints among scrapbookers, who are also often wives and mothers. There are a couple of ways to get past this roadblock.

One is to break projects down into smaller steps that can be completed in little chunks of time, like 15 minutes. If you’re working on a layout, put a load of laundry in and then choose your photos. Change a diaper, and then choose the background paper. Swap out the laundry and then jot down some notes for journaling. At the end of the day, the layout is just as done as if you had sat down to scrap for an hour straight.

Another way to get more out of the time available is to *simplify*. Many scrapbookers think each layout must be some elaborate piece of art. But a lot of art is beautiful in its simplicity. Don’t make things harder on yourself than they need to be. Scrapbooking is about preserving and documenting memories. However you achieve that is fine.

If you want to slap a photo on a piece of card-stock and jot down the story with a pen, and call it done, it’s done. That could be done in 15 minutes. So many people fill their heads with “you can’t do it like that,” and “it should look like this” — they end up paralyzing themselves. Turn your focus instead to preserving memories. Remember the advice your mother gave you — “write it down so you don’t forget it.” Jot down your memories, and you’ve accomplished something.

A simplified approach to scrapbooking is to use those photo albums that have the slip-in pockets. Slip photos in some pockets, and use the other pockets to house the story written on a scrap of cardstock.

You can see my example of this approach on my blog:
http://angiepedersen.typepad.com/blogofme/2005/05/scrapbooking_si.html

Long Island Exchange: My kids are getting big, and I lost so much time already. Where should I begin? Should I break [out] the pregnancy photos? (Oh dear).

Pedersen: There’s no “right” place to begin — pick some photos and scrap them. But advice that experts commonly give is to start with recent photos: “start current and work your way back”. The memories are fresher in your mind, and you’ll approach the project with less dread, because you remember the fun you had. Then, as you become more familiar with scrapbooking, you can start theme projects: your pregnancy, a specific family vacation, holiday traditions. You’ll eventually work your way through your photos — every page done is another memory preserved, and that’s “a good thing”.

Long Island Exchange: You specialize in scrapbook journaling. What exactly is that?

Pedersen: Technically, the term journaling means any writing or sentiment on the page, which can be the title, a quote, a poem, a caption, or a write-up of events. But to me journaling is more specific; it’s how you tell the story of the memory. It’s the Who-What-Where-Why-When-and-How of the story.

A lot of people struggle with journaling. They don’t feel like they know what to say, or they believe what they would say will sound “stupid”, or that somehow their writing will “mess up” the layout. But that’s all just a lack of confidence. You already know the story of the pictures in front of you; just describe the events like you would when talking to a friend. And even if you think it sounds “stupid”, chances are whoever is looking through your album won’t share the same opinion.

If your grandmother took the time to write down some of her memories, would you think it sounded stupid, or would you be grateful for the keepsake?

Long Island Exchange: Can you briefly explain what a “BOOK OF ME” is?

Pedersen: Very simply, a “Book of Me” is a scrapbook about yourself. It can include pages on anything you want to document and share about your life. People include pages on childhood memories, dreams & goals, personal quirks, beliefs & values — pretty much anything that helps someone else get a better sense of who you are as an individual. This concept has gained popularity among scrapbookers, because we’re often the ones behind the camera, and not included in our own scrapbooks. We tend to scrapbook about everyone else, and forget about ourselves.

Long Island Exchange: How long have you been scrapbooking and why did you start?

Pedersen: I made my first scrapbook layout on July 17, 1998. I know that because that’s the date on the check I wrote to the Creative Memories consultant! I started scrapbooking because I wanted a way to creatively display my piles and boxes of photos, and a place to document all the stories and memories that went with the photos. Scrapbooking allows me to do both.

Long Island Exchange: Scrapbooking is a craft and I’m so not crafty! I am creative though. What’s your advice for those who want to start, but feel intimidated?

Pedersen: Just jump in and start. Remember that scrapbooking doesn’t have to look like the examples you see in magazines. Looking at layouts done by experts can often be overwhelming. (You should ask to see those experts’ first pages — you’ll feel a lot less intimidated!) I strongly suggest trying a beginner’s class in scrapbooking from a local consultant or store — you’ll learn about safe products to use, and how to build a layout from scratch. You’ll see that it doesn’t have to be hard or complicated.

You could also pick up The Idiot’s Guide to Scrapbooking — many beginners have told me it is comprehensive, yet not overwhelming. Finally, I teach a free “Scrapbooking Basics” class online at BarnesandNobleUniversity.com. It’s offered every couple of months in the Life Improvement campus. It’s a great, no-pressure way to start, and I’ll be happy to answer any questions.

Long Island Exchange: Your website has such amazing information, tips, articles. What’s your most frequently asked question?

Pedersen: The most frequently asked question on OneScrappySite.com is probably how to install a font. Because it’s been asked so many times, I put together a tutorial, and just direct readers there:
http://www.onescrappysite.com/section-viewarticle-20.html

Long Island Exchange: Do men scrap?

Pedersen: Yes, definitely! The majority of scrapbookers are women, about 98%. But there’s still that 2%. An idea book actually came out recently that’s authored by a man: Scrap City: Scrapbooking for Urban Divas and Small-town Rebels, by Paul Gambino. And another man recently shot a docu-drama about scrapbooking: http://www.scrappedmovie.com. Of course, there are hundreds of other men who scrapbook, and just don’t make a fuss about it, or become as addicted as women. They may also call their hobby something else, like “illustrated journals” or “photo journals”.

Long Island Exchange: What are three tips you would give to a beginner?

Pederson:
1. Take a beginner class at a local store, or from a local direct-sales consultant — it will save you a lot of time and shorten your learning curve.
2. Your pages don’t have to be perfect; they just have to be done. If you’ve told the story, and the basic questions have been addressed, you’re done.
3. Yes, you are doing it the “right way”. There really is no wrong way to scrapbook, pretty much any technique and material is ‘allowed’.

Don’t worry about doing it “right”. Just have fun!

I just want to thank Angie Pedersen for her great advice. Do I think I can scrap NOW? Why yes I do. But I have a feeling I’ll be visiting OneScrappySite.com quite often.

(Long Island, N.Y.) When I was pregnant with my first child, all I wanted, was to be a perfect parent. Then reality set in: 200 dropped binkies, 80 times I wanted to run down the street screaming, 44 muffled curse words (OK, make that 4,400), 15 times I forgot to bring an extra diaper and one tumble off the bed…I realized that there’s just no such thing as perfect. I asked Jessica Carlson, co-creator of THE IMPERFECT PARENT, her take on parent perfection.

Long Island Exchange: Do you think one of the hardest things about being a new mom…is other mothers? If yes, why?
Carlson: One of the hardest things about being a new mom is the figuring out children part, but a close second is the moms who think it’s their place to raise my children. Moms love to extrapolate their own experiences — successes and failures — and ideals onto other family’s situations without considering differing family setups and dynamics. It’s simply not a one-size fits all solution for families out there.

Some moms have to work, other moms are raising their children alone and some families are fortunate enough to have mom stay home — for each family, decisions need to be made based on their individual needs.

Long Island Exchange: So why do you think some moms try so hard to appear “perfect”?
Carlson: It’s like a high school popularity contest all over again, this time the peer pressure is set in a grown-up society, namely internet chat rooms and forums — there seems to be a deep desire for acceptance. Also, with the extreme rise in media exposure, parents are presented more and more with what is supposedly the “ideal” in parenting. Everywhere they turn it’s this study says do this, this study says do that, it’s overwhelming.

Long Island Exchange: I’m not afraid to admit I’ve given my two year old cheese doodles for breakfast, and while you’ll never see a service feature in a national parenting magazine listing “The Top 10 Snacks…To Shut Them UP”, many moms will admit to those moments. So why are our parenting imperfections still so taboo?
Carlson: I think it boils down to political correctness. It’s common to be somewhat insecure in raising children, but some parents, especially mother’s who cannot handle the ambiguity of it all, amplify that and need a very definitive, structured and “correct” way of doing things as a coping mechanism for dealing with the unknown. That insecurity leads to fear of being judged by other moms.

Long Island Exchange: What has been the positive response to The Imperfect Parent?
Carlson: I think it’s great we get a lot of emails saying, “I totally needed this website, I love the concept!” even though we don’t elaborately state what the “concept” is — just the title “The Imperfect Parent” seems to speak volumes, and demonstrates there’s a need out there for a site for frazzled parents to feel normal. I also think it’s important to point out that we get our fair share of criticism. To me the hate mail is a lot more telling, like those criticizing working mothers or parent’s weekly jaunts to fast food land — it emphasizes that parents need a refuge from the wagging fingers of their judgmental neighbors.

Long Island Exchange: There have been times I’ve thought about another mother, Hey, lighten up, lady. Is that your part of your mission? What’s the big picture for The Imperfect Parent?
Carlson: Although moderation and common sense needs to be applied to parenting decisions, it seems to me that there are a lot more tragic crimes (like violence) against children going on than to worry about a Saturday afternoon happy meal on the go. As parents, we do the best we can, with the resources available and what’s right in one situation may require an entirely different solution for another situation. As parents, we should be as unique in our parenting styles as our children’s individuality.

Those who insist on following so called “experts” advice in lock-step may be surprised to find out that their children don’t turn out as perfect as they might have hoped. I think all parents need to do themselves and their children a favor and do what you suggested, “lighten up”. Mothers today certainly didn’t invent motherhood.

So I guess our mission in a nutshell is to tell parents to simply do what they believe in their heart is right, and if their kid whispers “I love you” when they tuck them in at night, then they’re doing a damn good job.

To hook up with other imperfect parents, visit: http://www.imperfectparent.com

(Long Island, N.Y.) Young men and women today are bombarded by images of “the perfect body”. Magazine covers, television, movies…it’s almost impossible to ignore. Survival of the fittest has expanded to survival of the biggest—muscles are big business these days and kids today will do whatever it takes to meet the impossible ideals of a “killer body”. Jeff Rutstein, a former bodybuilder, knows all too well the price to be paid for obtaining that “killer body”.

For three and a half years, Rutstein was addicted to anabolic steroids, nearly died from his addiction and now he is a man on a mission, spreading the word about the dangers of taking this illegal drug. Steroids can be a “gateway drug” and the use and abuse can be deadly. He speaks out to high school students as a guy who’s been there, done that, and although he survived his addiction, he describes himself as “lucky”.

What are the hazards? Severe acne, hair loss, liver disease, aggressive behavior, jaundice, kidney damage and depression are just a few. “It’s not worth it!” says Rutstein, who is now a respected fitness trainer who promotes a mind-body approach to exercise.

In his book, THE STEROID DECEIT: A BODY WORTH DYING FOR, Rutstein tells a very personal and emotional cautionary tale.The book packs a punch with hard facts and a personal story to help parents, coaches, athletes and young people know the real dangers of steroid use. He now crusades to keep youngsters from the grip of this stealthy drug. And if you think only skinny kids who get sand kicked in their face are the only ones at risk of using steroids, think again. Rutstein points out that today, even young girls are doing steroids to get those six-pack abs and toned arms.

Getting the drug is easy—too easy. It can be purchased in many gyms, chat rooms and websites. The big problem with steroids is they work—really well. Results are fast, but the message Rutstein is spreading is that it doesn’t last. But what does last is the health problems associated with taking steroids. Some are irreversible.

Here’s an alarming fact: between six and 11 percent of high school males and between two and five percent of high school females are currently using steroids. Why would kids today gamble with such a dangerous substance? According to Rutstein, there are two reasons: for an “athletic edge” and for a boost of self-esteem. Parents must know that for some kids, steroids are their ticket to being noticed and being new and improved.

Rutstein admits he took pains to keep his steroid use hidden from his own parents and he urges all parents not to turn a blind eye on this hidden epidemic. “Steroid abuse is such a huge and overlooked problem among our children.” he says. Here are some of his tell-tale signs of steroid use:

 

• A rapid increase in the musculature of your child
• Your child’s preoccupation or obsession with getting big
• An outbreak of acne (mostly on the chest and back) far and above the usual
• Pronounced mood swings
• The presence of muscle magazines
• The presence of pills, powders, ointments and liquids that advertise such things as promoting muscle development, human growth boosters, or testosterone enhancement

For more information steroid abuse, please visit www.stopsteroidabuse.com

(Long Island, N.Y.) Preparing for a Las Vegas vacation—a little weekend getaway for just the two of us—was no easy task. Packing was a breeze, but making sure everything was set for the kids proved a bit challenging. The kids were going to spend the entire weekend with grandma and grandpa, and we figured it would be easier on everyone to have them watch the kids at our house. This way, the kid’s routines would not be shaken up too much. They get to sleep in their own beds, play with their own toys, and it’s pretty much business as usual.

If you’re planning a get-way without the kids, having the sitters watch your kids in the comfort of their own home is the way to go. Here are some tips to keep in mind to make the weekend go as smooth as possible.

Medicines. Make sure you leave any medicines your kids may need in a place that the babysitters can easily find. Another important tip to remember is dosage. A simple as possible, write down the doses your child gets on a piece of paper and tape it to the inside of the medicine cabinet. It will help take the guess work out and avoid any harmful overdoses.

Re-child proof. If your kids are young, chances are your house is already child-proofed, but there may be some areas that you’ve overlooked. YOU may know that the kids are not allowed in your bathroom closet, but your babysitters may not. When in doubt—don’t assume the babysitters know you keep a bottle of spray cleanser underneath the unlocked bathroom sink. Go through everything and anything that may be a potential hazard.

Phone numbers. I left a list on my refrigerator of numbers that the babysitters might need. The hotel we were staying at, our cell numbers, neighbors who could help out if they needed someone in a pinch, the children’s pediatrician, and poison control. This way, in case of an emergency, there wouldn’t be any scrambling around looking for phone numbers.

Food It’s a good idea to stock up on all the food your kids enjoy. I filled the pantry with their favorite snacks, to help the sitters in case of tantrums. I even filled what I call “the naughty drawer” with candy. Open this drawer only in emergency and the chocolate inside works best for bribery. I also made sure I had plenty of things on hand for grandma and grandpa, making sure there were plenty of good things for them to eat.

Goof-Proof Everyone’s television and cable works differently, so I left a detailed list how to work the television—how to access the DVR and put on a DVD. This way they didn’t have to fumble with the remote looking for the kid’s favorite channels. Sure, it doesn’t take a brain scientist to work a television, but I tried to make the whole house as goof-proof as possible—leaving simple instructions for all the electronics around the house.

Once all these things were taken care of…it was off to Vegas we went. (YES!) I did leave a note for grandma and grandpa pertaining to the kids schedules that I asked them to stick to whenever possible. Here’s the exact letter:

FOOD AND BED TIME SCHEDULE

These are my preferences for the kids while we are away. Their food and bedtime routine is as follows:

• Breakfast: Whatever they are screaming for
• Lunch: Same as above
• Dinner: Whatever you’re in the mood to eat
• Snacks: Whatever keeps them quiet
• Sleep: Whenever they pass out
• Wake-up: Just pray they sleep past 6:30

(Long Island, N.Y.) Well, it’s that time of year again….the mother of all holidays. Yep, May 14 2006, mothers of the world will kick back and enjoy a day of pampering and relaxation. (Yeah right!)

Come to think of it, I really don’t need a day at the spa or flowers, or jewelry. Although those thing would sure be nice, what this mamma really wants is some good old fashion VALIDATION. Just a nod from the husband and the kids that says…Hey, you’re doing a great job!

But when I really think about it, being a mom isn’t a job—it’s an honor. So in honor of mothers near and far, and to truly appreciate the holiday, here’s some Mother’s Day fodder to feast your eyes on.

According to the US Census Bureau:

• There are 80.5 million mothers in The United States
• The average number of children that women of today can expect is 2.0. (The average number of women in Niger, Africa is 7.5)
• In 2004, the estimated number of stay-at-home moms was 5.6 million
• The odds of a woman delivering twins: 1-in-32
• In 2003– 35,723 births did NOT occur in a hospital (Ouch!)
• 25.2 is the average age of women when they give birth for the first time (a record high)
• Last year, the estimated number of Mother’s day greeting cards given…152 million.

The “mother” of Mother’s Day

The “founder” of Mother’s Day was surprising not a mother herself. Her name was Anna Jarvis and back in 1908 she set her sights on making one day out of the year —a day to honor her mother along with all mothers of the world).

Anna was born in West Virginia in 1864 and was one of 11 children. It was after the death of her mother in 1905, did Anna decide she was going to dedicate herself to honor her mother. Two years after her mother’s death,

Anna became quite aggressive in her quest to celebrate mothers, so she campaigned to establish a National Mother’s Day. She even passed out 500 white carnations at her mother’s church and started the first memorial church service for mothers.

Getting the word out and starting a nationally recognized “Mother’s Day” holiday was no easy task. She wrote letters to politicians and state leaders, gave speeches and did all she could to support her movement. Her pleas to set aside a day to tribute mothers often fell on deaf ears, but she kept at it. Soon, her dedication paid off and her dream of a mothers day began to catch on.

By 1909, 45 states began to officially conduct a “Mother’s Day” observance. The tradition began for people to wear carnations (her mother’s favorite flower). By 1914–success! Mother’s Day was officially designated by congress to be observed on the second Sunday in May. Anna Jarvis’s incredible idea gives her a place in history as the “mother” of Mother’s Day”.

And boy did her idea take off! According to The National Retail Federation, for Mother’s Day 2006, American will be spending:

• 2.83 billion dollars on special outings such as brunch or dinner
• 682 million dollars on greeting cards
• 1.98 billion dollars on flowers
• 928 million dollars on a personal service (like a day at the spa)

Would Anna Jarviss be impressed? Probably not. It is said she detested the commercialization of her holiday, and felt nothing could be a better tribute than a handwritten note and heart-felt gratitude. Good old fashion “Validation”.