You’ve got that feeling again…something’s not quite right. Maybe you know why those feelings are taking over. Maybe you’re not sure at all what’s making you feel so bad. But could it be more than just a case of the blues? I asked Dr. Deborah Serani, a psychologist specializing in trauma and depression, to shed some light on the darkness of this illness.

Q: What are the typical signs of depression?

A: Depression is more than just feeling of sad or having occasional blues. The symptoms of depression can be very subtle at first. It is important to learn the symptoms of depression so early identification can lead to treatment. Common symptoms include:

• Depressed or flat mood.
• Inability to enjoy activities or feel pleasure.
• Problems concentrating or sustaining attention.
• Difficulties decision making.
• Changes in eating habits or appetite, sometimes eating more or eating less.
• Weight gain or weight loss.
• Changes in sleeping habits. Sleeping too much or sleeping too little.
• Difficulty meeting responsibilities in the home, work or school because of a lack of energy.
• Feelings of guilt and hopelessness.
• Feeling despair, wondering if life is worth living.
• Slowed thoughts and speech.
• Many physical complaints, like headaches, stomach aches, backaches.
• Thoughts of death or even suicide

A person struggling with depression may not experience all of these symptoms listed. But if an individual has experienced a few of these symptoms for at least 2 weeks in duration, it is important to be evaluated for a depressive disorder. It is also important for readers to know that there are actually many kinds of depression. The two that get the most exposure are Major Depression and Bipolar Disorder. But there are other depressions.

*Dysthymic Disorder is a less severe form of Major Depression, but it can be disrupting nonetheless. Dysthymic disorder is characterized by a chronic melancholy and social withdrawal for a period of at least 2 years in adults or 1 year in children and adolescents.

* Seasonal Affective Disorder, where depressive symptoms encroach within a person when the fall and winter months roll in.

*Cyclothymic Disorder, where a mild depressed mood cycles with a hypomania component.

And then there is also the depressive disorders of Post Partum Depression which can appear anytime within the first year after childbirth. and Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder, where depressed mood, anxiety, irritability, anger, and other symptoms occur before a woman’s period to consider as possible diagnoses. SO, when getting diagnosed, it would be imperative to work with a professional who knows about the subtleties of depression.

Q: How common is it?

A: According to the World Health Organization, depression occurs in persons of all genders, ages, and backgrounds. At present, depression affects over 120 million people worldwide. It is also the leading cause of disability worldwide. In the United States, one in five Americans will experience a depressive disorder. Of these, women experience depression more than men. The reason for this higher incidence rate is that women are more apt to go to the doctor and seek intervention than men.

Q: When should you seek help?

A: I always recommend that whenever a person feels “out of sorts”, it’s time to get a check up. Anything that feels more or not-the-usual is suspect of something. Some people are very good at knowing when their own sense of well-being is compromised. At other times, a person cannot see the depression wave washing over them. In those circumstances, it would be important to seek help if a loved family member or friend conveys concern that you seem depressed or sad.

Depression has neurobiological origins, so the first step once you decide to seek help is to go for a thorough physical examination. Certain medical conditions, like diabetes, thyroidism or a viral infection can cause the same symptoms a depression. Once the medical findings rules out a medical reason for the symptoms, a psychological evaluation should be done by a psychologist, social worker or psychiatrist.

Q: Why do you think many people suffer in silence, and are too scared or embarrassed to talk to their doctor?

A: In a word, Stigma! Though technology and research have shown that depression is a true medical condition, there are many who feel it is a weakness. Society in general often views people who are depressed as lazy or of a flawed character. These ill-formed views keep many suffering in silence from getting help that can cure the disorder. I blog about aspects of stigma often, and I have seen personally and professionally the rigid clutch stigma holds in our culture.

Q: What’s one of the biggest myth about depression?

A: That depression is not a REAL illness. That it is the result of a weak character or laziness in a person.

Q: What’s the truth about that myth?

A: It IS a real disorder. Depression research has shown us that genetics plays a large role as do hormones, neurochemistry and neurobiology. I love all the technological advances in medical imaging because now people can SEE how depression operates. http://www.musc.edu/fnrd/petdep.htm

Q: Any tips to offer on how to deal with depression?

A: Research tells us that using psychotherapy and medication together offers the best results for curing depression. Holistic approaches can be helpful as well, and I am a big believer in people finding what works uniquely for them. The triad of eating, sleeping and exercising can do great things to help overcome depression. Other natural remedies I often suggest are making sure you get in the sun as much as possible. There are studies that have shown us that depression can improve with exposure to the sun.

If sun is not available, for climate or seasonal reasons, light therapy can also be helpful. Light boxes can be purchased online helpful http://www.sunbox.com or at Costco. Color therapy is helpful as well – filling one’s home or room with vibrant and warm colors has shown to decrease sadness and stress. Meditation, yoga and massage have benefits as do the taking of omega-3 fatty acids. There have been recent studies that focused on Vagus Nerve Stimulation Treatment http://www.cyberonics.com and Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. I think the bottom line for me as a clinician is to recommend solid clinical interventions of talk therapy and medication, and to open the door to these other alternatives as an accompaniment.

Here are some links and resource websites:

• American Psychiatric Association: http://www.psych.org
• Breaking News Blog on Depression http://www.breakingnewsblog.com/depression/
• Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance http://www.dbsalliance.org
• GlaxoSmithKline’s Depression.com http://www.depression.com
• The International Foundation for Research and Education on Depression (IFRED) http://www.ifred.org
• National Alliance of Mental Illness http://www.nami.org
• National Association of Social Workers http://www.naswdc.org/pubs/news/2005/02/bailey.asp
• National Institute of Mental Health on Depression http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/index.shtml

To learn more about Dr. Deborah Serani visit: http://drdeborahserani.com/ or her AMAZING blog: http://drdeborahserani.blogspot.com

(Long Island, N.Y.) Being thirsty can make you looks years older. I didn’t get this information from a new study or the latest medical research. No- I got this bit of breaking news from my bathroom mirror! How many times have we read how important it is to drink 8-10 glasses of water a day? OK, about a zillion. But surprisingly, when I asked 10 random women, age range from 25-48, only two replied that they felt as if they drank enough water, and one out of the two said “but not really everyday.” The other eight kind of thought they should, or promised me that they would try. Hey, I’m not the water police!

I am clearly dehydrated. I feel bloated, tired, and cranky. My skin is hurting. My muscles are too tense. My body is screaming: “Water me, won’t ya?”

But why wont I? I think I’m just lazy in the liquid department. I exercise, and eat right. I used to down tons of water. Yet lately, according to the unforgiving lights of my bathroom mirror, I no longer do. And it’s not just your face that feels the impact of being dehydrated. Your health and well being depends on water.(Ah, If there was such a thing as The Intention Awards, I would win hands down for the best all-around effort to drink adequate amounts of H2O.) I start the day downing a glass or two, then ask myself, coffee has water in it, so does a diet Dr. Pepper. That’s good, that counts…right? WRONG. I know it’s wrong. I’ve learned many women have issue with water (or lack thereof).

Anne Marie, age 40, started to feel dizzy while sitting at her desk. “I put my head down, but still felt like I was going to faint.” she recalls. ” I finally got down on the floor to keep from keeling over; every time I tried to stand up, I knew I needed to lie down again.”

Her husband took her to their family doctor and low and behold…her symptoms were caused by dehydration. ” I was very surprised.” said Anne Marie. ” I had no idea that dehydration could make you feel faint.” What did the doctor recommended she do about her dehydration: ” Go home and drink Gatorade and see how I was feeling in a little while. I drank two quarts over the entire day and felt much better by evening. Nothing ever tasted so good, which is funny because Gatorade is fine, but not my drink of choice—but that day, it was delicious. I guess I really needed it!”

Rachel, a 26-year-old magazine editor from NYC also had an experience with dehydration. ” I felt incredibly dizzy and lightheaded. I actually was eating lunch at the counter at a NYC diner when I felt as if I was going to pass out. I almost fell off the stool I was sitting on because I felt so dizzy–out of the blue. I managed to walk to Lenox Hill Hospital and admit myself.”

There she had some kind of liquid sugar pumped into my veins for about 6 hours. ” I felt weak, so I lay down on the bed while the pump ‘filled me’.”she says. ” It was kind of funny because I felt like a deflated balloon being filled slowly with air. Afterward, I had to keep going to the bathroom non-stop. They just told me to drink lots of water and Gatorade for a few days. It was definitely dehydration.”

Soda, coffee, juice DOES not count in that 8-10 glasses of water you should be drinking a day. It must be water. Plain water

The warm weather is just around the bend so keeping your family (and yourself) hydrated is extremely important. I started drinking up the good stuff everyday. At first it did feel like a chore, but the effects just simple water has on your body is amazing. Here are some tips to help you get a good start.

1. If you don’t like the taste of cold water (many do not) then be sure to leave your bottles of water out and store them at room temperature.
2. For kids who don’t like to drink water, let them sip right from the water bottle or buy a new cup with a crazy straw. (Kids love novelty)
3. Get a sports bottle and carry it with you where ever you go. A sip here, a sip there. Slow and steady wins the race.
4. If you really hate the taste of water, try squeezing a lemon, lime or orange in it to add a little flavor.
5. If you are feeling thirsty, you’re probably ALREADY dehydrated. Don’t ignore thirst.
6. When your mouth is dry, don’t reach for candy. Your body doesn’t need sweets, it needs water.
7. Invest in a water filtering system at your kitchen sink to avoid the “tap water is gross-but bottled water is too expensive” excuse. It’s worth it in the long run.
8. If you give your kids a snack they love, serve water with it. Chances are they won’t complain while devouring sour cream and onion potato chips.
9. When your getting a craving for something naughty, start to sip some water. It may help with the craving.
10. Make it a ritual to drink a full glass of water as soon as you wake up in the morning. At least you’ll be off to a great start!

(Long Island, N.Y.) A long time ago– before kids, a mortgage, and a joint bank account, I spent 175 dollars on a hair cut at a prestigious, celebrity-filled salon in NYC. Dumb move, considering it was just a trim, and I refused to let the stylist cut more than a half inch.. But I was young and carefree, and not only did I spy a few celebs without make-up on, I also sipped a Mimosa and learned a very valuable lesson: When it came time to blow out my long hair, the stylist, Ricky, asked me how he should do it.

“Huh?” I asked “Your’re the expert!”
“No darling,” he replied, “you are.”

Ricky had a point. I slave with the blow dryer everyday. Yes, I am the expert. I have long hair, naturally yuckie, so I am the blowout queen. I have developed a lightning-fast way to go from soaking wet to slick and shiny. Hair-straightening tips from celebrity hairstylist are good, but some real tips from a busy mom who can get the job done in ten minutes, while something’s biting her legs…is GREAT. No, I don’t have a dog, just two crazy kids with tons of energy and new teeth. The mother of invention is necessity. If I don’t blow out my hair, I look, well, like something the cat dragged in. So I HAD to come up with a way to get the job done fast. And I did!

One of the first things people would ask me when I was pregnant was: When are you going to cut your hair? For some reason, everyone thinks that moms can’t have long hair, and chopping off your locks is like some right of passage into mommy-hood.

It isn’t. My long hair is one of the last things I’m clinging onto, to remind me of my old self. Yet my “old self” had plenty of time on her hands. “New self” is a mom with little time on her hands and had figured out a way to make it look like I’ve spent hours.I have a secret tool, a pricey product, and a time-shaving technique

The Secret Tool. Actually, it’s not so secret. It can be found in practically every beauty supply store, pharmacy—even some grocery stores. Who has time to blow dry… and then use a curling iron? Well, have you ever seen that gadget that serves as both. A curling iron brush that blow out hot air? Well, it will set you back about $24.00, but believe me, it’s worth every penny.

It’s the only thing I use. No blow dryer—haven’t owned one in a long time. I usually wait until my hair is slightly air dried, and then I go to work with this cool tool. Sometimes I go for a straight look, taking chunks of hair and blowing it until it’s smooth. Other times I make large waves by curling my hair up in the wand and leaving it to get hot for a couple of seconds.

The Pricey Product. I’m definitely not one of those who believe that the more expensive a product is, the better. I’ll put my six dollar conditioner up against any salon name brand any day. But when it comes to what kind of product you use in your hair, only Kiehls will do. The product is actually called “Kiehls Silk Groom”. Kiehls products rock, all of them, but the best is their Silk Groom. I apply it when my hair is damp. (Just a little, because if you go overboard, it can be a bit greasy). It really does make the straightening process go smooth. I even add a little extra after the job is done to give my hair an extra dose of shine. I’ve tried every product available in the free world, and I refuse to use anything else.

The Time Saving Technique. If you are really pressed for time, but don’t want to show up to a PTA meeting with a frizz — try this: While your hair is air-drying get dressed, do your make-up. Take your blowdryer/curling iron and just run it through your ends and the top layers of your hair. No real time to section it off and smooth out piece by piece, so take large chunks and focus on the ends of your hair and curl then under to hide the frizz. Also if your hair has flattened out in between blowouts, put your hair up in a loose,high pony tail for as long as possible. When you take your hair down, you’ll be amazed at the volume. I walk down the stairs with my silky hair saying: “Is it frazzled mommy, or the next Victoria Secret model? You decide.” My husband just rolls his eyes. Most important tip to remember when you’re a parent: NEVER lose your sense of humor!

(Long Island, N.Y.) If you’re a parent of a teen or tween girl, chances are: weight is an issue. It’s hard not to be a concern for young girls. With celebrities and models striking a dangerously thin pose on magazine covers, young girls of today are bombarded with impossible ideals to live up to. Since thin is in…diets are everywhere.

As we come closer to spring–prom, spring break, bathing suits, how can parents teach their young girls about healthy dieting? First, it might be a good idea to forgo the strict regime and ditch that diet. Here’s why.

I asked Dr. Susan Bartell, author of “Dr. Susan’s Girls-Only Weight Loss Guide”, to shed some light on this topic. She has written an amazing new book that is a must read for parents and girls of all ages who are concerned with their weight and body image.

Q: What’s the main reason diets don’t work?

A: Diets don’t work because they don’t teach you how to eat a wide range of foods in moderation–which is the healthy way. Instead, they make you deprive yourself of foods you love for a period of time. Eventually you go off the diet, start eating the way you were before you started dieting and then you start to gain the weight right back! In fact, in many cases, girls gain even more weight than they started with.

Q: What’s the biggest dieting myth?

A: If you go on a strict diet, you will lose weight quickly and then your life will be perfect!

Q: What would be five general reasons to stop dieting

1. You’re depriving your body of nutrients it needs to grow healthily
2. It doesn’t teach you how to eat “for the rest of your life”
3. It makes you think constantly about what and how much you’re eating which can make you obsessed with calories and with what you look like.
4. Very strict dieting can lead to you having an eating disorder
5. Your energy can be depleted when you diet–making it difficult to concentrate in school, think clearly or be as active as you want to be.

Q: How can dieting actually hurt you?

A: Some diets require you to take pills or supplements which can be dangerous for kids. Also, drastic dieting can lead to an eating disorder which can hurt your body or even kill you. Very strict dieting can also interfere with you growing healthily.

Q: What are some things girls can do instead to lose weight?

A: Eat smaller portions of a wide range of foods, be as active as possible, learn important facts about nutrition so you can make good choices when you’re eating at home and out. Speak to your parents about having more healthy foods and snacks around the house.

For more information, visit: www.girlsonlyweightloss.com

(Long Island, N.Y.) Recently, we decided we wanted to take a short road trip with the kids, but didn’t have a clue where to go. We wanted to do something fun and exciting, something we all could enjoy. So I asked around. I’m always looking for fresh ideas and great things to do with the kids, so I consulted the experts…other moms.

I asked some Long Island parents what we could all do as a family that would engage the kids, and keep my husband entertained and not looking to “jump ship” the moment we got there. So a few local moms gave rave reviews–and said I should try the Long Island Children’s Museum.

Sure, sounds fun. So early one afternoon, we buckled the kids in their car seats and headed to the museum. It was an hour drive for us—so I was really hoping the trip would be worth it. Luckily, the kids snoozed in the car on the way there. My husband and I sipped our coffee in the car and hoped it would be fun day, and at least worth the hour drive—there and back. The moment we arrived, the kids had the bright smile on their faces, and during the entire visit, the smiles never wore off.

Two Thumbs up, way up! Actually, make that four, because we all had an amazing time. And as it turns out, were not alone. The Long Island Children’s Museum attracts 250,000 visitors annually and has so much to offer kids of all ages. With 14 exhibit galleries, 3 learning studios for workshops and programs and a 145-seat theater with topnotch sound and lighting, we spent the entire day there and still wanted more. As soon as I buckled the kids into their seats to come home, they were asking when we could come back. There is so much to see, do, and touch. Yes, touch. While many museums have a hands off policy, this one get kids to use all of the senses, and have fun while doing it.

So many exhibits, so little time. This place is big! LICM is actually housed in a former airplane hangar in Mitchel Field and as a result of a 17 million capital campaign, it was completely renovated. At one point, we felt like we were rushing through all the amazing exhibits, because there were so many cool things to do, climb on, explore, mess up, build–I didn’t want the kids to miss out. But when we got to the Bubbles gallery, we just couldn’t peel them away. Bubbles, in all shapes and sizes. There’s even a spot to play with sand. What kid doesn’t love sand? (I couldn’t help but cringe when my son dumped a handful of sand on the floor. I kept thinking: Someone has to clean that up!) Along with the fun stuff are real opportunities to learn and be challenged.

Kid-friendly. Just about every aspect of the museum was kid-friendly, but what shocked me the most was how parent friendly the staff was. Not once, but twice, I dropped something on the floor, and some smiling staff member was there to help me pick it up. Really, I was quite surprised how helpful everyone was. I asked where the cafeteria was, and a staff member actually walked me there. The enthusiasm and kindness of everyone who worked there made a lasting impression.

Got to love the “TotSpot”. There’s a special room in the museum called the TotSpot, where kids and run free and play and the parents could kick back and get off their feet. I loved this room, There were books to read and plenty for the kids to do: run, climb, role-play, dress up. The room is filled with toddler-friendly toys and other kids to interact with. There are tickets specifically for this room to ensure there aren’t too many kids and things don’t get too hectic.

You say it’s you’re birthday! Long Island Children’s Museum is also a great place to throw your child’s next birthday bash. The museum offers party packages that will make a lasting impression on young partygoers. The big-time bonus: It’s cool, it’s different, and there’s no cleanup! Included in the party packages are invitation, paper goods, a LICM T-shirt for the birthday boy or girl, 90 minutes of party time lead by museum staff and best of all—they take care of the messy cleanup! LICM offers a variety of birthday packages. I have a strange feeling I know where my son’s fifth birthday party will be.

Sure—the hour drive is a bit of a hike for us, but the big smiles make it worth the trip.We’re heading back in a few weeks. To learn more about the Long Island Children’s Museum visit: http://www.licm.org/

(Long Island, N.Y.) The busy and hectic schedule of taking care of two children under the age of three, gives me little time to primp and get all pretty. Ah–the good old days, when I could spend FOREVER getting all dolled up for a night out. Those days of lip-gloss and two coats of mascara are long gone. Now, I am lucky to have on a pair of matching socks. Chances are, I showered in a mad rush, and threw my hair up in a pony-tail. That’s being generous. Some days, I roll out of bed and head to the grocery store—as is. Think: Nick Nolte’s mug shot a few years back.

As a reminder of what I can look like, when I am blessed with precious time for hair and make-up, there’s a photograph of myself all “dolled up” tucked away in my wallet. Every time my son looks at it, he looks at me, looks at the picture, looks at me again, laughs, and says: “Two mommies!”

Two Mommies? Oh, I cringed, has it gotten that bad. My own son just took a jab at my ego without even knowing it. But I realized he was right. I’ll admit it. Sometimes I walked around the house as if my husband was blind: oatmeal smeared all over my sweats, the ends of my hair dipped in maple syrup, sporting red fuzzy slippers I SWORE I’d never wear…and worst of all, a smug, tired, “get me the hell out of here” look on my face.

Somewhere along the way I forgot about myself. I realized it was about time for a much needed change. And my disheveled appearance not the only thing UNDONE. There were stacks of books I wanted to read, a pile of magazine’s I meant to flip through, a growing list of friends I needed to catch up with, a scrap-booking kit I’ve never even opened—the list was mounting. I felt lost. I wondered…where do I find time for me? Truth is– you don’t. Finding time is impossible, but MAKING time is key when it comes to your own well being.I realized it was about time I took action. Here’s how:

Send out an S.O.S If you’re feeling stressed, overwhelmed, tired, or are in just plain need of time for yourself—speak up. Your friends and family are usually more than happy to help out, if you ask. But the asking part isn’t so easy for some parents. If you simple say: I need help, you would be surprised how many people are happy to step up and lend a hand. It really is as easy as saying…”can you do me a favor?” Sometimes dads don’t realize how tough it is for moms who never have time off. So don’t be shy about asking for the time you need and deserve.

Enjoy your night-life. Back in the day, I used to get excited about trendy new club promoting “ladies night”. Now nothing gets me giddier than a sign hung in the window chain-restaurant that reads: “Monday Nights KIDS EAT FREE”. Woo-hoo. Things sure have changed, but there’s no other place in the world I’d rather be on any night, is with my kids. Yet I still have given myself the opportunity to enjoy the night. Instead of cleaning when the kids go to sleep, I try to accomplish as much as possible when they are awake. While they settle down, and brush their teeth, I’ll tackle the toy room. I do my best to clean as we go throught the day, so when they finally do get to sleep—the rest of the night is mine all mine.

Get thee to the gym. While you’ll never find me in the front row at the “boot-camp for abs” class, I do try to make the most of my gym time. (Except the time I was lying on the mat stretching–when I fell asleep!) Although I am trying to get rid of those last pregnancy pounds, joining the gym was for me was less about looking buffed, and more about time for myself. Usually, I’ll walk on the thread mill–even jog when I’m feeling spunky. Most gyms offer a wide variety of class like Pilates, Yoga, and Tai-Chi, to get your mind focused and your body in shape.( I really did fall asleep at the gym once!)

To Grandmother’s house we go. My sister is too funny. When she drops off her two kids for dinner at grandma’s house, she packs their suitcases for an overnight stay. Why not? Grandma and grandpa are always ecstatic to have their grandchildren stay for a sleep-over. Grandparents have a special bond with their grandchildren, and they are always (happily) on-call for baby sitting duties. Chances are the grandparents and the kids had far more fun than you did on your night off. “What happens at grandma’s…stays at grandmas!”

Nix the guilt. When you finally find yourself with free time to do whatever your heart desires, the single most important thing to do is to enjoy yourself. If dad takes over and you head out for a stroll through the mall (minus the stroller), you don’t want to spend your time feeling guilty about taking time for yourself. Don’t worry or wonder what’s going on back home. Chances are, everything is under control. Don’t worry about the mess you are sure to come home to. Take your time, and do whatever you need to do to unwind. A smoothie and a pretzel in the food court: about eight dollars. One hour spent at the cosmetic counter sampling the latest lip-gloss: PRICELESS!

I *Heart* Chocolate

A few days after Valentine’s Day, the guilt of all that chocolate you ate begins to set in. Now, as if you actually need another reason to love chocolate, there’s a new study that brings a whole new meaning to the “chocolate heart.” An international team of researchers pinpointed a chemical compound found in certain cocoas and chocolate products that have heart-healthy benefits.

According to this new study reported in the online issue of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, “epicatechin”, one of a group of chemicals known as flavanols (present in cocoa), was directly linked to improved circulation and other hallmarks of cardiovascular health. (You had me at hello!)

It still may be a long-shot that your doctor will prescribe a box of Hershey’s Chocolate Kisses to kiss-off heart troubles, but it sure doesn’t hurt to dream!

Taking Your Temperature Accurately: Freeze–Did you just Down a Frozen Latte?

Uh-Oh. Something wicked is brewing. You’ve got the chills, aches and pains all over, and feel like you’re burning up. You slip the thermometer under your tongue, wait patiently, and read the results. NORMAL? You think: “Hey that can’t be right!”. Well, maybe it’s not. Did you just down a cold drink?

According to a new study, thermometer accuracy CAN be affected by food and drink. On average, participants in the study consuming cold beverages required 15 minutes for their temperature to return to baseline. And a whopping 23 minutes– for those sipping hot beverages.

Beth Quatrara, research project coordinator at the University Of Virginia Health system said in a statement:

“Taking an accurate temperature is one of the most basic, yet at times complicated, pieces of data that we can collect to monitor our health and the health of our loved ones. With the cold and flu season upon us, this change in practice could not only apply to patients in a hospital setting, but to parents tending to sick children.”

Her advice to get the most accurate temperature reading as possible: Don’t participate in activities that may change body or mouth temperature, such as exercise, smoking, or chewing gum.

At Work: Who’s Got Your Back?

When it comes to lo lower back pain you feel on the job, you’re on your own! You probably reach into your top drawer and pull out a Tylenol for some much needed comfort. But before you pop another pill, you might want to consider this:

Reported in the December issue of The Journal of Occupational and Environmental Medicine is a John’s Hopkins study that suggests low-level heat wrap therapy (those neat little heat patches you can find at any pharmacy) significantly reduces acute low back pain in patients with physically demanding jobs.

With the use of continuous low level heat wrap therapy (or CLHT), along with pain management education, patients experienced rapid and significant reduction in pain intensity.

So the next time your struggling with back pain, before you pop another pill, you might want to give an alternative therapy,(like ThermaCare Heat Wraps) a try.

 Be MINE, MINE, MINE! Making Every Day Sweet for Your Family

(Long Island, N.Y.) Sure, everyone’ heard of Valentine’s Day. But since it’s so sweet, I’ve dedicated an entire week to celebrate the joy of loving and being loved. When you have kids, there’s no better holiday to express love. Christmas (unfortunately) is too busy, Thanksgiving gets too hectic, Halloween is just plain spooky, so without the fuss of big dinners, gifts, relatives, costumes and long car trips, Valentine’s Day is extra special. I always have the attitude: “Anything worth doing is worth overdoing”–so I’ve dedicated February 14-21 Valentine’s Week! But as a parent, I try to make every day of the year a golden opportunity to spread love.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I was at the grocery store checking out, when the man on line in front of me gave me a sweet smile. He asked if this was my first child, and when I told him yes, he began to pour out his heart. This stranger went on to tell me that I have no idea how deep my love for my new baby would be, and reflecting on his own love for his child, he began to sob.

He told me how the birth of his daughter was a miracle that changed his life, how big and deep his love grew—and within minutes I was sobbing too! We were two strangers with carts full of groceries, weeping as we emptied our carts. I was pregnant, and full of hormones, but I’m still not quite sure what his excuse was. Probably just a man– sure damn proud to be a father. (The teenage check-out girl must have thought we were both nuts!) But he was right. Every word he said about how deep and intense my love for my children would be, was so true.

Now, I tell my kids “I love you” over and over. Every day. Every night. In and out of the car, over the phone, during breakfast—whenever. Although Valentine’s Day is the official “LOVE” holiday, you can make sure your kids feel loved and cherished every day of the year.

In the spirit of Valentines Day, or should I say “Valentine’s Week”, I asked one mom how important it is for her to say to her children: “I love you”. Pam Sweeney of Wantagh tries not to miss a moment when it comes to saying those three little words.

“I tell my kids all the time I love them. When they go off to school, bedtime, or just cuddling watching TV. If we are out sometimes, I will point to my heart then point to them—their reaction is usually a big smile. Growing up we did not say it often enough, so I make sure history doesn’t repeat itself, and I realize with my own children just how important it is.”

Let February 14 mark a blizzard of love adoration for your family—for the week, the month, the entire year!

(Long Island, N.Y.) When you are a parent, there are many things to worry about. Keeping your kids safe is at the top of the list. First, you worry about the pacifier your infant dropped on the floor—so you pick it up and wash it with soap and water. Next, your toddler isn’t eating enough vegetables, so you do your best to hide some veggies in his meat loaf. Then, you bite your nails as your second grader scales the tallest tree in the yard. You want to run and catch him when he starts to slip, but you see that he’s beaming with excitement, so you stay watchful and quiet—careful not to spoil his fun.

As the kids grow older, the dangers they are faced with become more intense. One danger heavy on the minds of parents these days is substance abuse. And for good reason. With the popularity of “designer” drugs on the rise, and all the peer pressure kids are faced with, the worries parents encounter are mounting.

The Usual and Unusual Suspects

Sure, it’s the usual suspects; experimenting with marijuana and alcohol that begin a pattern of self-destruction, but be aware, there are new drugs on the block, and they can be found in your medicine chest. According the Partnership for a Drug-Free America, the menu of drugs kids and teens are using is changing. They report 1 in 5 teens has tried Vicodin (a narcotic pain reliever) to get high, and 1 in 11 has admitted to getting high on cough medicine.

They also report a number of teens now “party” with other prescription and over-the-counter drugs. Along with the other illicit drugs out there that pose a dangerous risk to our kids, it’s difficult not to be alarmed. The Partnership for a Drug-Free America (www.drugfree.org) is arming parents with need-to-know information about the risks of dangerous substances.

A local program reaching out

On the local front, there are programs that are taking action. Program coordinator for the Student Athlete Leadership Team (SALT), Paul Grafer, stresses the need for a proactive, honest dialogue between parents and their children about substance abuse. He oversees programs emphasizing leadership and character for young people in 40 districts in the New York Metropolitan area.

SALT trains thousands of high school athletes to serve as role models and mentors in their school districts to 5th graders. If you think 5th grade is too young to begin a dialogue about drugs—think again. National statistics show that the average age for experimentation with drugs and alcohol is 11 years old.

How does this program help? The SALT Program promotes healthy, positive behaviors and decisions. Included in this philosophy is a commitment to life long activeness and playing sports for enjoyment, health benefits, and to obtain life-skills; and, remaining substance abuse free by developing proactive, real-life refusal skills and strategies to navigate a culture of underage drug abusers (alcohol, tobacco, and steroids). The SALT Program is offered at Adelphi University in Garden City.

On Long Island

The grips of drugs are known to be prevalent on big city streets, but they are a problem here on Long Island. Suffolk County Police Officer Daryl Quinones explains, his experiences have given him great insight and compassion to those who are drug addicted and the knowledge that even experimenting with the “softer” drugs can easily lead a kid down a path of self-destruction and crime.

He suggests that parents must be truthful, and “lay it all out there’ for kids to understand what may happen if they fall under the spell of drugs and alcohol and stresses the importance of speaking up before it’s too late. “As a police officer I have spoken to teenagers about these issues upon parents’ request,” he says. “And on certain occasions, years down the road, I’ll see the parents and they will thank me for turning the kid around.” Quinones has seen the consequences when the child doesn’t listen: they land out in the system for some drug related crime.

Expert Advice

So how do you get a child to listen? What do you say? When should you say it? I asked Dr. Susan Bartell, psychologist and author in Port Washington specializing in tween and teens, to shed some light on this important issue.

Q: What age do you recommend bringing up the issue?

A: You can start talking to kids about drugs beginning at six or seven–by talking about smoking cigarettes because that is something they see in their world and can understand that it is “bad”.

As they get older (about ten) they can begin to understand the issue of other drugs. Middle school kids are ready for direct conversations, naming drugs (marijuana in particular) and explaining that they are illegal and dangerous.

Q: Can you give me some tips about how to make the “talk” go smooth?

A: With middle schoolers, look for a “teachable moment”…a TV anti-drug ad, a TV show when kids are drinking, smoking, using drugs and ask them what they think about it; then give your feelings in a low-keyed way, explaining that it is something you feel strongly about.

As kids get older–young high schoolers, the conversations need to begin to revolve around their social life: what would they do at a party if there was alcohol/drugs there. Help them come up with ways of handling it that aren’t judgmental or critical.

Q: What’s the biggest mistake parents make dealing with drug issues and their children?

A: They are too preachy, too critical of kids and don’t give enough problem solving strategies. They also don’t listen for their kids’ concerns about how to handle peer pressure, or curiosity about drugs.

Q: How can parents be proactive about deterring their children from taking drugs?

A: First, being clear that you disapprove, next, making sure that you drive your child to and from parties or get-togethers–they’ll be much less likely to use if they know you’re picking them up. Don’t let them get rides from other kids.

Q: Is there anything else parents need to know?

A: Conversations about drugs must include alcohol–which is also a drug and is actually usually the “Gateway” drug to others. Parents often feel that alcohol is okay, when in reality their kids can become alcoholics without them realizing it.

In addition, parents need to look for signs of chronic drug and alcohol use like: grades dropping, social isolation, secretive phone conversations, new friends that they don’t let you meet; dropping old friends; sleeping a lot, changes in personality; sudden depression; sudden mood swings.

When it comes to raising kids today, it really does take a village. Keeping your child out of harm’s way is no easy task, but experts agree that staying involved in you’re your child’s life– is a great start. When they’re young and scaling that tall tree, you stand back and let them giggle their way down, but when it comes to drugs, parents cant afford to be silent. There’s too much at stake.

(Long Island, N.Y.) You would think taking time out of your hectic day to sit down at the kitchen table and help your daughter with her math homework is a good thing, right? Well, maybe not. If she didn’t ask for the help, you just might be shaking her confidence in her abilities.

Can homework helping parents actually stifle a budding genius? According to a recent survey of middle-school girls, yes they can. Moms and dads who meddle with math homework, (offer unsolicited help) are not adding confidence, this new study finds, they are actually subtracting! The study, from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, (reported in the journal Sex Roles: A Journal of Research) reveals that girls are quite sensitive when mom or dad sit down to help with her “hard math homework”. Researchers learned, a girl’s self-confidence in math suffers when their parents believe the gender stereotype that holds that math is a male domain.

While the latest national research says that girls and boys are about equal in their abilities in math and science, the biggest gap lies their attitudes. Many young girls (and their parents) believe, math is a pretty much a boy thing, and girls just stink at science. Or aren’t really that interested. But just talking to a few 11 year olds, it’s not entirely true.

So how can parents encourage their girls to succeed in the so-called “boy subjects”?

There’s a great program to stir the interest and get girls excited about math and science. It’s from the sponsors of “National Engineers Week (Feb. 19-25 2006). They are encouraging schools and parents to participate in “Introduce A Girl To Engineering Day” (February 23, 2006) http://www.eweek.org/site/News/Eweek/girlsday.shtml

The idea is to get K-12 girls excited about math and science, and to subtract stereotypes (like the “nerd” factor) from these subjects. According to their site, women are severely underrepresented in the engineering profession. Research shows that girls and young women lose interest in these subjects and fields. They also offer tips and information for parents to help girls subtract the “nerd” factor.

They also report, less than 10 percent (9.8) of American engineers are women. That equals slightly more than two hundred thousand women engineers out of just over two million employed engineers.

Without solid math skills, young girls can miss out on top college choices, and exciting careers. So the idea is to take these two subjects and turn them upside down. To make them fun, accessible, even cool.

According to the National Engineering Week foundation,“Girl Day,” as it’s known among engineers, is one of the most crucial components of the EWeek outreach. Women engineers, with help from their male counterparts, are planning to reach as many as one million girls through workshops, tours, speaking engagements, on-line discussions and a host of other activities aimed at showing that engineering is an important career option for everyone.

Another excellent web resource to help girls get excited about math, science and technology is “Girls Go Tech” (www.girlsgotech.org). This site, sponsored by Girl Scouts of the United States of America and includes a booklet: “It’s Her Future: Encourage a Girl in Math, Science and Technology” that offers tips for parents. There are also some really cool, mind-expanding games to play like “Cryptic Codes” and a brain-game called “Mixed Messages”.

When it come to stereotypes about these subjects, we should all disregard Barbie’s first words: “Math is tough”. (Yes, the doll!) Stop whining Barbie–you’ll never get into medical school with an attitude like that.