(Long Island, N.Y.) I just can’t get enough of the Fast and the Furious. I can’t explain why…well, I CAN, but it probably wouldn’t sway anyone who feels it’s just a series of vapid, poorly-acted, flashy action movies with no real redeeming value, mainly because they’d be right. Fast Five, the latest installment in the Furious series of street car racing/crime caper movies is all that and more, but to me, that’s not its weakness; that’s its strength. Fast Five doesn’t aspire to be anything more than an excuse to show off hot cars, hot women, hot action, and bad dialogue, and it revels in it.
In the last movie, 2009’s Fast and Furious…well, to be honest, I don’t remember much about that movie. As I said, these flicks are fun but ultimately hollow; you may enjoy them, but damned if you can’t remember what the heck happened 15 minutes later. Anyway, street racing legend and wanted criminal Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel in the only role that’s brought him any real success, sadly) is busted out of a prison bus by his buddy and former cop, Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker) while Toretto is being carted off to the big house.
From there, the two split up and head south. Waaay south.
Later, the two meet up in Brazil, along with Dominic’s sister Mia (Jordana Brewster), and they attempt to pull off a heist involving some cars that ends up getting some DEA agents killed. This puts them on
the wrong side of DSS federal agent Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson, AKA
The Rock) and a local hood named Hernan Reyes (Joaquim de Almeida). On the run from
both the law and the lawless, Dominic and Brian gather together pretty much everyone
who’s ever been in a
Fast and Furious movie (except Tokyo Drift’s Lucas Black, who keeps getting the short end of the stick in this franchise due to his installment taking place last, chronologically speaking) and plan to pull off the ultimate heist before disappearing forever. Or, at least until they release Super Six next year, or whatever clever name they come up with for it.
What can I say about Fast Five that I haven’t already said? Well, when most movie series reach number five, they’re usually dragging their feet pretty badly, but in the hands of director Justin Lin, who helmed the last two flicks, the Furious series is just getting started, baby! Fast Five is fresh, exciting, and action-packed. As usual, the story doesn’t matter, the lines are terrible (but not quite as bad as usual), but the movie is so fast-paced and looks so pretty that you won’t care.
Also, there’s something to be said about the novelty of having so many returning cast members. If your series spans five movies, you’re sure to rack up a decent-sized supporting crew, and while you wouldn’t miss characters like Han Lue (Sung Kang) and Roman Pearce (Tyrese Gibson) if they weren’t there, their inclusion actually helps the film as a whole. Hell, even that slimy Vince (Matt Schulze) from the first movie shows up this time around. I’m really hoping that Super Sonic Six takes place in Japan, the location of Tokyo Drift, which is one of my personal favorites in this series, even if Lucas Black looked 45 while playing a high schooler in that one.
Of course, the glue that holds this series together is Vin Diesel. You know this is true, because what’s the one installment no one cares about? If you said 2 Fast 2 Furious, you’d be right, since it was totally Diesel-less. Tokyo Drift at least benefited from a surprise Diesel cameo at the end, in addition to (at the time) series newcomer Justin Lin’s expert direction. It’s just a shame that most of big Vin’s movies outside of the Furious series have been duds, since the man is a good actor and a huge bad-ass to boot. If anyone could have inherited the Action Hero crown from Arnold, it could have been Diesel…not sure what went wrong there. Oh yea, crap movies like “XXX” and “Babylon A.D.,” that’s what.
And the addition of Dwayne Johnson into the mix, yet another seemingly washed-up action star wanna-be, seriously helped to add some extra excitement to the proceedings. Johnson has size, he has charisma, and he has the physical ability…but unfortunately, up until now, his choice in movie scripts has made Diesel’s look like that of a world-renowned Oscar-caliber thespian on the box office roll of a lifetime. But perhaps Fast Five is a sign that The Rock is finally on the path to greatness. I doubt it, since this is the man who just recently starred in “The
Tooth Fairy,” for Disney, but it’s a start. At least the much-hyped fisticuffs showdown between Johnson and Diesel’s characters in Fast Five is pretty damn good.
So, you want a fantastic, fun, stylish, no-brains action movie? Fast Five fills that order, and then some. Check it out.
