(Long Island, NY) Did you hear about the interview accused child pornographer and hip-hop star R. Kelly gave to Hip Hop Soul magazine? The Chicago Sun-Times reports Kelly frothing off at the mouth, comparing himself to Martin Luther King, Marvin Gaye, and Bob Marley.
R. Kelly claims he’s all three of those figures rolled into one for the new millennium.
Of course, in Chicago, people tend to think of the star as more of a kiddie pornographer. At least the Cook County state’s attorney’s office does, having filed 14 counts of child pornography against R. Kelly for allegedly taping himself having sex with an underage someone.
Did I mention that R. Kelly also settled out of court with other underage girls who claimed that R. Kelly had sex with them, too?
Now that last line probably looks like blatant character assassination, or at least a pathetic attempt to do so. Factor in the notion that I think R. Kelly is a tone-deaf noise polluter who’s stayed long past his welcome on the airwaves, and we have what looks like a clear case of bias.
Hip-hop star R. Kelly
But I’m not suggesting that R. Kelly is guilty of sleeping with underage girls simply because some underage girls sued the singer. No sir. I’m not even suggesting that he’s guilty because the Cook County suits filed 14 counts against him.
After all, that would be lazy, irresponsible journalism. I’d be a disgrace to my profession no matter what excuses I offered for doing such a rotten, lowlife sort of thing.
No, what I’m suggesting is a bit simpler, and not subject to verification by yours truly.
What I am saying is that there is a bit of scientific reasoning we can use here. If there is a video tape which indicates beyond a reasonable doubt that R. Kelly is having sex, and the woman in question can truthfully say that she was indeed underage, we would seem to have some pretty damning evidence that R. Kelly is indeed a child pornographer. Who on earth videotapes themselves having sex with…wait, never mind. I already know the answer to that one.
But the OTHER really sad thing about this is, if R. Kelly is found guilty by a jury of his peers, it won’t matter. He’ll probably cut an album from prison. It’s been done before. Hell, Michael Jackson is STILL turning out nonsense, and well, we all know THAT wretched saga, now, don’t we?
If there’s one thing we know for certain R. Kelly is guilty of, it’s having a ridiculously over-inflated opinion of himself. Martin Luther King, he ain’t. For starters, nobody ever pressed charges against MLK for having videotaped sex with an alleged underage person.
Legal and moral issues aside, R. Kelly is either incapable, too inarticulate, or just plain unwilling to take back his comparisons to one of America’s greatest leaders. He left it up to his publicist to issue a disclaimer.
According to the Chicago Sun-Times, “(R. Kelly) doesn’t think he’s Martin Luther King. He’s comparing the fact that he is a prolific songwriter of his time; now it’s turned into something else. Whatever Rob said, any way they can stick it to him. If he breathes it’s a problem.”
Guilty, not guilty, whatever. What I really wish is that R. Kelly and his massive ego would simply go away and leave the rest of us alone. If he’s guilty, I wish him the very worst of luck in America’s prison system. If he’s not guilty, I wish him a permanent case of laryngitis.
I also hope his videotape machine breaks.
