(Long Island, NY) A state report says Long Islanders are going to pay much more for electricity this summer. “Much more” means more than a hundred bucks more, thank you very much. This comes as wonderful news, in light of our ridiculous gas prices and other woes. Who knows, maybe we can find a way to hike taxes again while we’re at it?
A guy at a local watering hole I enjoy was lamenting this coming hike in his electrical bills, his head in his hands. He was muttering about George Bush, Iraqi oil, and the electricity board. I had just finished researching energy conserving alternatives and thought I could share a bit of good news.
“Hey, pal, it isn’t ALL bad, you know.” I sidled up to him and offered to buy him a beer. What the hey? Writers are rich, you know.
“It will cool you off. You’re going to need it, too, from the sounds of it. Are you planning on shutting off your air conditioning for good this summer? It’s the only way you’ll save that hundred bucks.”
I’m such an optimist.
“No way, friend. I can’t live without the A/C.” He shook his head violently. He was resigned to sucking up the added expense by working extra overtime and trying to spend more time at the movies—where they run the air non-stop– in hopes that maybe it would all even out.”
I told him about a money saving technique I had read about on the internet, where you take an ordinary household fan, a plastic trash can full of ice and water, some tubes and a drainage system. The idea was that you could make some kind of Rube Goldberg contraption that would cool off your apartment in about half an hour. Sounds insane, right? We both thought so. Him more than me. And he was the one desperate to save money on his electric bills.
“That’s too ghetto for me, matey.” He replied with disgust. I tend to agree, but what option have we got? Our country has gone completely nuts, we have three-to-four dollar-a-gallon gas, a war on terror that we can’t end, and a situation in Iraq that has gotten so bad that the President has taken to trying to distract us from the carnage with an artificial controversy over gay marriage. Listen here, as soon as the insurance companies figure out that there are huge profits to be made by insuring gay married couples, we’ll have it all nice and legal before you can say “Constitutional Amendment”.
President Bush’s nonsense about protecting the integrity of the family by defining marriage as being between a man and a woman is just as insane as the coming increase in our utility bills. I myself thought that marriage was between two people who loved each other and wanted to try and stay together for life. If Bush can try to invoke some kind of conservative moral high ground on that one, let’s not forget that it wasn’t so long ago in the grand scheme of things that our boy President was said to be on some kind of prolonged bender, snorting cocaine and swilling booze. I’m sorry, what was that about the integrity of the family? Is this the same guy who allegedly went AWOL on his National Guard commitments?
Sorry, that was a HUGE tangent. Just as massive as Bush trying to distract us from insane energy prices at the pump and the electric meter with the “horrors” of gay marriage. In fact, dear reader, my distracting side journey is EXACTLY THE SAME THING. See how we got off on this tangent about who has the legal right to proclaim their undying love to one another and who doesn’t? That is what is going on in our government. Misdirection. Why are prices so high? Why are the oil companies raking in massive profit? Is this thing on?
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Long Islanders need to vote with their dollars. I myself am driving less and taking public transport more. I plan on cutting down my electricity use this summer as much as possible. If we all do the same, it may not “teach them a lesson”, whoever “they” are, but we will all save a hell of a lot on our utility bills. We may not be able to boycott electricity, but we can use a whole hell of a lot less. Let’s spend a lot more time in the movie theaters, libraries, art galleries, any place that has free A/C and something to do. We could expand our horizons by taking a class and learning a new language or some kind art course. Spend the money that would be going to the utility company on something for YOU. Screw giving that extra hundred to the electricity-makers.
For my part, I am doing all my writing at the local coffee shop, whichever one offers free WI-fi and good coffee. They have the air conditioner blasting, and I can plug in my laptop. I won’t have to resort to a trashcan full of ice water to stay cool. I could while away the whole workday on somebody else’s A/C dime.
Or I could just stay home, turn on every light in the house and use my utility meter as a fan.
