(Long Island, N.Y.) Hey kids! Today’s review is Cowboys And Aliens, the new sci-fi western directed by Jon Favreau (Elf, Iron Man 1 and 2) and starring Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford. It’s taken a mild beating in the press, pulling in mostly average reviews, but I’m here to give you the real deal on this one. If you’ve been sitting on the fence about seeing Cowboys And Aliens after reading what Joe So-And-So of the Boston Whatever said in his half-paragraph review located on page 12 under a Stop And Shop ad, wait no more. Well, read MY review first, THEN stop waiting.
The short version- it’s great. The long version- a mysterious Man With No Name (Daniel Craig) wakes up in the middle of nowhere, only partially clothed, with no memory of who he is or where he’s been. He still remembers how to talk, eat, and go to the bathroom, so obviously his memory loss is only of the short-term variety, but that doesn’t improve his situation much. Also odd is the huge metallic bracelet clamped around his wrist that he can’t remove. After brutally killing three punks that hassle him and taking their clothes (and a doggie!) in a scene reminiscent of 1984’s The Terminator, he strolls into the nearest town and, once there, starts running into all sorts of locals that recognize him as a wanted outlaw named Jake Lonergan.
Anyway, Lonergan befriends a local preacher (Clancy Brown) and a saloon owner (Sam Rockwell), and is bugged by
a “way too beautiful to be hanging out in this crappy Wild West hellhole” woman named Ella (Olivia Wilde),
who now not only seems to know who the stranger is, but also where that weird bracelet around his wrist is from.
However, Lonergan runs afoul of a powerful local cattle rancher named Colonel Woodrow Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford) after he kicks his crazy son Percy (Paul Dano) in the grapefruits for shooting up the town. Dolarhyde, responding to reports that his son has been arrested for his shooting spree, arrives in town only to discover that Lonergan, who apparently had previously robbed Dolarhyde of a gold shipment before he lost his marbles, has also been arrested by the sheriff. But before Dolarhyde can dispense vigilante justice, SPACESHIPS attack the town with disco lights, blowing things up and abducting humans to experiment on in true alien fashion.
Of course, the humans and their puny weapons have no effect on the ships, until Lonergan’s bracelet opens to reveal some kind of energy weapon, which he uses to shoot down one of the attackers. Dolarhyde, whose worthless son Percy was among those kidnapped (presumably to be *ahem* “probed”), for some reason wants to rescue the idiot and puts together a posse to track the downed ship’s pilot back to his home base. Lonergan, though reluctant to go at first, as all tough-as-nail loners always are, eventually tags along, but will even his wrist laser thingy be enough to turn the tide against the alien invaders and rescue the town’s lost kin?
I’m getting tired of reviewing good movies lately…it’s been a while since I’ve seen something really bad that I can just tear apart, but alas, Cowboys And Aliens is a fun movie that is pretty much completely
entertaining all the way through. Seriously, I’ve seen plenty of flicks that, while enjoyable, all had dead spots or something really stupid happening, or whatever, but I don’t think there was any one point during this movie where it slowed down or got stupid. There was one minor plot point about Olivia Wilde’s character that almost lost me, but I ended up not minding it at all in the end.
And yes, the whole premise of Cowboys And Aliens – you know, cowboys fighting aliens and all – may seem goofy as hell on paper, but in reality, director Jon Favreau handles it perfectly, grounding the townsfolk’s reactions to the invasion in reality, which each person viewing the aliens differently; some as demons, some as monsters, and so on. But the humans, though hopelessly outmatched in terms of technology AND physiology (the aliens are bigger and meaner), still bravely fight their hardest against the threat.
Also, the look and feel of the Wild West is just really well-captured in Cowboys And Aliens, and meshed well with all the alien stuff introduced later in the picture. But the movie starts out so compellingly, the performances so rock solid, that it almost didn’t need the gimmick of the whole space invasion thing. Don’t get me wrong, the alien plot was fun, but if this movie had just remained being about a loner with no memory wandering into some random town and getting into trouble and nothing else, I still would have enjoyed it, and I’m not even a big fan of Westerns to begin with. The movie is intense, funny, and, most of all, fun.
But the thing that makes Cowboys And Aliens such a joy to watch is the acting of the amazing ensemble cast. If the James Bond movie Casino Royale didn’t convince you that Daniel Craig is the real deal, than this movie should do the trick. Aside from
doing a perfect American accent, Craig nails the tough-as-nails loner, radiating a “DON’T MESS WITH ME” vibe the whole movie that was really awesome. Harrison Ford is great as a salty old grump, and the chemistry he shares with Craig in their scenes together is the highlight of the film. Clancy Brown and Sam Rockwell are also both amazing in their supporting roles, and while Olivia Wilde is somewhat bland, she still adds to the movie as a whole in her scenes with Craig, as her character serves to humanize him somewhat. Plus, she’s just nice to look at.
So, now you’ve read my review, and maybe you’re even feeling a little bad that you haven’t seen Cowboys And Aliens yet. But it’s not too late! Head out and watch it this weekend. It’s supposed to rain, anyway, so it’s not like you’ll be missing any beach time. So go see it!
