(Long Island, N.Y.) While “unfunny” comes to mind, the word I would most associate with Shrek Forever After, the third wretched sequel to the (actually pretty good) original Shrek, is “unnecessary.” This movie just didn’t need to be made. Actually, none of the sequels in this dead-horse franchise needed to be made, but you know how it works: movie makes money, movie
gets sequel. Dreamworks has announced this to be the last Shrek movie, but we all know that’s a vile, evil lie; if Shrek Forever After pulls in 100 mil in it’s opening weekend, you’ll be reading my review of Shrek Goes To Hell (what they
SHOULD name it, anyway) next year.
You know what the Shrek movies are- they’re CG cartoons that parody fairy tales and base their humor solely on pop-culture references are horribly dated 3 months after each movie is released. The Shrek series takes place in the magical land of “Far Far Away” and stars Mike Myers as Shrek, a big dumb, ill-tempered Ogre constantly thrust into the role of a hero; Eddie Murphy as Donkey, his grating sidekick, who’s, well, a talking donkey; and Cameron Diaz as Princess Fiona, a beautiful human woman who is eventually revealed to really be a female Ogre instead. Of course, she falls for Shrek’s *ahem* charms and disgusting mannerisms and eventually the two marry, producing spawn who will no doubt be quite the boon to the gene pool of Far Far Away for many generations to come. Together, the three of them have battled threats to their land ranging from “evil” dragons, 3-foot tall would-be dictators, and other assorted weirdos pulled from popular children’s folklore.
So, after three films filled with goofy misadventure, the fourth bomb finds Shrek a domesticated family man longing for the days when he was feared by the locals as a “true Ogre.” He apparently hates his new life so much that, just to get a one-day break, he’s talked into signing a magic contract by a guy named Rumpelstiltskin (Walt Dohrn), who offers him one day off where his life is back to normal, at the cost of one day of his childhood. Of course, not being bright enough to understand that signing any contract in a movie always screws you over eventually, the dim green boob happily puts his John Hancock in the form. Not having bothered to read the fine-print, Shrek then learns the hard way what the price of his day off is: the day from his childhood he has to give up is the DAY HE WAS BORN. Sadly, this didn’t retro-actively remove the entire Shrek film series from existence- remember, these movies are make-believe- but now Shrek finds himself in an alternate version of Far Far Away where he never existed.
Shocking to me was the fact that things were actually WORSE rather than BETTER- apparently Shrek managed to have a positive affect on things and with him removed from the picture, Far Far Away is in a bad way. It’s revealed that this was all a plot hatched by Rumpelstiltskin to change the events of the past and usurp the throne of the kingdom, and Shrek must get to
know his old friends and allies all over again if he’s to
defeat Rumpelstiltskin’s plans and return things to normal. One wonders why he bothers, though, since he was miserable to begin with. I say just count your blessings and move on.
You can tell a film series is on life-support when the filmmakers have to resort to the whole “alternate reality” bit to try and make things fresh (it’s the same idea as when TV shows add an adorable new child to the cast), but I guess its good to be able to re-use most of the old CG character models again. Sadly, this “new” concept doesn’t manage to revitalize the franchise for it’s fourth installment; instead, it just comes across as the final nail in the coffin. I’m not saying the movie is terrible, but it’s stale, not altogether funny, and reeks of being a re-tread cash-run made by the studio in an attempt to wring the last drops of dough from the concept.
Still, there’s a few good laughs hidden here and there among
the vast flood of pseudo-emotionalism and tired references to popular culture that are Shrek’s trademarks. Also, the visuals are pretty in a technical sense; everything is detailed, nicely rendered, and well-animated. However, I am just not a fan of the art style and character design- never have been. It’s an unattractive blend of realistic and cartoon-like styles that don’t serve each other well. Pixar does this combo in a lot of their movies too, but they actually know how to get it right. Dreamworks, take note.
As for the return cast of voice actors, they do a solid job with the material they’re given to recite into their respective microphones. Mike Myers must be overjoyed for one last opportunity (hopefully) to dust off his beloved (read as: obsessed with) Scottish accent, but he does a good job bringing Shrek to life and making you not complete hate the big, lumbering, grumpy oaf. As much as I’ve grown to hate the Shrek movies, I still can’t help being charmed a little by Myer’s performance. Just a little. Eddie Murphy, on the other hand, wore out his welcome as Donkey about 3 minutes into the first sequel. He’s Eddie Murphy at his most annoying, and he’ll make you wonder where the heck the hilarious and edgy guy that starred in “Delirious” and “Trading Places” ever went. Cameron Diaz is just okay- she doesn’t bring anything to Princess Fiona that any 300 other actresses could, but she delivers her lines, and they’re convincing for the
most part, so she gets a pass from me. But the two stand-outs of the film are Antonio Banderas as Puss in Boots and Walt Dorm as Rumplestilskin. Dohrn does “smug villain” pretty much perfectly, and the swashbuckling Puss was always an enjoyable character in the previous Shrek films. Thankfully, Banderas hasn’t lost his touch; actually, hearing his smooth and suave accent coming from a now obese and lazy Puss in Boots (as he appears in the alternate Far Far Away) is pretty amusing.
But overall, Shrek Forever After is…not good. It’s a film made, not because some creative dude was all like “wow! I have a great and original idea to breathe new life into Shrek!” but because some suit probably said “wow! I need yet another new Rolex!” If you loved the formula followed devoutly by the previous Shrek movies, I guess you might like this movie. Non-fans, however, would be better served seeing How To Train Your Dragon (still in theaters!), proof that Dreamworks can still put out quality animation with heart and character (instead of fart/earwax jokes and references to Starbucks) when they actually want to.
