(Long Island, NY) State Comptroller Alan Hevesi made a lot of Long Islanders cringe with his remarks about “a bullet between the President’s eyes”. It’s naturally the latest in a long series of idiocy coming from those entrusted with the business of running Long Island, but this time, what idiocy!
With other LI scandals, corruption charges, and mindless statements from public officials in support of other officials-turned-convicted criminals, the damage was only local in nature. We all snicker at the latest moronic move by some elected or appointed bozo, and move on. Now, thanks to Hevesi, Long Island gets the attention of the national media, and a great many Americans are wondering what the hell is in the water up in Long Island.
Surely, in this time where America is fighting a war without end against “terror,” a political official would know better than to pick words like ‘bullet’ and “president” and put them in the same sentence? Anyone who DOESN’T know better is unfit to hold public office.
Are you hearing me, Comptroller Hevesi? No, of course you aren’t. You are most likely too busy trying to divert attention away from yourself for the nonsense that recently escaped your mouth. Instead of sticking to the job at hand, doing State Comptroller business, you’re out in public talking about Chuck Schumer assassinating the President. I’d love to hear an excuse for his sorry statement, but it is NOT forthcoming. I’ll never get a response to this column from Hevesi either; probably a good thing, as I would probably get a long, whining letter about being taken “out of context”.
Cry me a river.
Hevesi’s words have done one really wonderful thing, and we should give credit where credit is due. If anybody on Long Island was ever in doubt that we need more stringent gun control laws, they certainly aren’t now. Hevesi’s ravings prove that we’re in more danger from firearms than ever. If the President of the United States can be threatened with a bullet between the eyes all the way from Long Island, isn’t it about time we did something about this gun problem? They say that if guns are outlawed, then only criminals will have guns. Hell, criminals already HAVE more guns than all the rest of us, what’s being done about THAT?
Great numbers of us don’t own firearms. Another large number of people actually own the damn things, but aren’t properly trained in how to use them. Target practice is NOT enough, folks. Gun owner, do you know how to properly operate your weapon under stress, fear, and threat? Probably not. How do you know how you will perform under such circumstances? Chances are you will miss your target and wind up shot yourself. If you do hit your mark, it will be in spite of your body’s natural panic reaction to being threatened. Are you ready?
Does this argument imply that we shouldn’t have guns at all? No, but while we are debating over who should have them, how they should have them, and where they should be able to purchase them, the criminals are already armed to the teeth and perfectly happy to use illegal guns they get from other criminals. The rest of us have to wait seven days.
In the meantime, Comptroller Hevesi is doing nothing at all to discourage illegal gun use. His recent babble is the verbal equivalent of waving a pistol at the President’s motorcade. In another month, some maniac will probably get arrested on his way to take a potshot at some vaguely official looking vehicle. When they get his confession, it will read that he was trying to “impress Comptroller Hevesi.”
Hevesi, as punishment for putting Long Island on the national map for his fruit-bat utterances, should be made coordinator of a brand new Long Island tourist attraction;
The Political Walk Of Shame. It would feature all the scandals of the last two years, in a wax-museum type display. All the dirty deals, all the shady characters that have wormed their way into office over the years only to line their own pockets and abuse the public trust; they would all be immortalized. Hevesi would naturally be required to explain how he got the job as curator of the exhibit, and lead the daily tours. He will, of course, be required to restrict his comments to the job at hand, and keep the Presidential ballistics fantasies for his own sick amusement.
Or, we could just have him write out, one thousand times on a blackboard somewhere;
“Threatening the President’s Life is punishable by law. I will not make a jackass out of Long Island ever again.”
I still like using Hevesi as an example for the gun control thing, but honestly, I think it may be far too late to CONTROL the guns, we should probably just round them all up and melt them down for college sculpture classes. We could make Hevesi the head of THAT one, but I don’t think we can trust him with the bullets.
