(Long Island, NY) Overall, I’m not what you would call a fan of Kevin Smith’s movies. The New Jersey-based writer/director burst onto the indie film-making scene back in 1994 with the low-budget hit Clerks, but since then has produced a number of movies that seem to fall short of greatness (or even averageness).
They all hold the same traits in common: they’re all set in New Jersey, they all star characters who are losers and social rejects, and they all have very forced humor, awkward dialogue (consisting of mostly silly, vulgar, pop-culture-laced rants), and a constant need to tinge every ending with a veneer of sappiness. These reoccurring aspects tend to make his films very hit-or-miss…well, mostly miss, in my opinion. However, despite any apparent need to evolve as a filmmaker, the man still occasionally rises above his own shortcomings and produces something watchable. This was almost one of those times.
Zack and Miri Make a Porno started out promising enough. It’s about…well, the title tells you what it’s about, doesn’t it? I mean, the basics, anyway. But
I suppose you’ll need a tad more to go on, if you’re going to formulate your own opinion about plunking down the dough to see this movie. Okay…roommates Zack Brown (Seth Rogen) and Miriam “Miri” Linky (Elizabeth Banks) are a pair of losers (in keeping with the Kevin Smith formula I outlined above…I guess someone felt like an outsider growing up and is making movies now as a form of therapy, huh?) who are way, way behind on their bills. It seems that Zack’s
coffee shop gig and Miri’s mall job simply can’t cover the bills, and the childhood friends soon find themselves with no water or power, not to mention a big fat eviction looming over their heads. Growing desperation and some inspiration from a gay porn star (don’t ask) leads them to make the same decision anyone else would make when trying to get their heads above water- let’s have sex on camera for money!
Recruiting his coworker Delaney (Craig Robinson) as a producer (mainly so they can use his plasma screen TV fund as investment capital), Zack and Miri concoct an adult film script based on the classic Star Wars movies (called “Star Whores”), rent a sound-stage, and hire “actors” (including Smith mainstay Jason Mewes) for their film. However, due to a corrupt landlord, the soundstage is bulldozed the next day, leaving their equipment and costumes buried under a heap of rubble…but not their hopes and dreams!
Zack decides to instead shoot the porno film in the Starbucks-like coffee shop he works in during the hours they are closed, using the owner’s surveillance camera (which appears to be DVD-based, so it could only record an hour of footage at a time, negating its usefulness as a surveillance camera…but whatever, I’m nit-picking). The filming commences, and despite their bumbling and total lack of experience, everything is proceeding smoothly until
Zack and Miri’s big nookie scene. Despite their mutual vows that the sex would just be for the sake of making easy money and not change their status of being “just friends,” can these vows really stand up after you’re been…um…naughty with one another? Or can physical intimacy (well, as intimate as you can get with someone with a film crew standing over you while you copulate) inevitably lead to…love?
I’m telling ya, Smith came close to nailing it (ha!) with this one. Zack and Miri Make a Porno started out well enough…it was funny, flowed well, and starred a cast that obviously had a fairly good bond with one another behind the scenes (Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks had previously starred together in The 40 Year-Old Virgin, and their chemistry here was very apparent). Sure, the trademark geeky verbal tirades and speeches started popping up as usual for a Kevin Smith film, but overall the experience was enjoyable and the humor was more genuine, as opposed to the way Smith tries to normally sledgehammer it into our heads.
Then, it happened- Zack and Miri Make a Porno got all
mushy. Emotionally, I mean, not… never-mind. But from there, it was all downhill.
It seems there can’t be a comedy nowadays where the main characters don’t undergo some sort of catharsis and emerge as better people, and from that point on, the movie usually loses any edge that it
once had. Sadly, Kevin Smith is more guilty of this than anyone working in Hollywood today, and when his movies turn sappy, he does it with all the subtlety of a kick to the groin. I won’t go into specifics for risk of spoiling the plot of Zack and Miri, but most people will probably figure it out for themselves. Suffice it to say that there’s one point where things get very emotional, people start doing odd things that normal people would never do (and I mean in addition to making a porno in a coffee shop), all the humor just evaporates in favor of angst set to cheesy music, and the movie just totally loses your involvement. At that point I started thinking about washing my socks and if I had any Ovaltine left, and chances are, you will too.
It’s a shame to see a movie come so close to being good and then snatch defeat from the jaws of victory like this, but that seems to be the norm for Kevin Smith. I suppose if I didn’t feel that he truly possessed some undeniable talent buried deep down, I wouldn’t care that he keeps churning out so many bad movies. But the fact of the matter is that the man IS talented, but you only manage to see glimpses of that talent in each flick he creates. Sadly, he always manages to shoot himself down in the end. Perhaps one day he can get his act together, grow a little as a filmmaker, and actually see an interesting concept through to the end instead of retreating the same lame formula over and over.
So, do I recommend it? Well, it’s an average movie at best- I feel no better or worse for having seen it. If you expect no more from your entertainment, then go for it. Otherwise, it can wait for DVD.
